Flattening Down the Bunny Ears
by Aquailita
Summary: Marik and Bakura live together as roommates, friends, and partners (not just in crime)! But there's something they forgot: Bakura is using a borrowed body. So when Ryou is nearly scarred for life by their carelessness, it may take a fangirl to set things right. A sequel/companion to "Italian Curls and British Bunny Ears (or Bat Wings)". Abridged. Thiefshipping. Yaoi. Sequel exists.
1. Blood and Bakura's Ring

Summary: Marik and Bakura live together as roommates, friends, and partners, and not just in crime! But one day, in the midst of a VERY intimate moment, they realized that they forgot one thing: Bakura is using a borrowed body. A sequel/companion to Italian Curls and British Bunny Ears (or Bat Wings)

Genre: What the frig do you think!? Romance!

Characters: Yami Bakura, Marik Ishtar, Ryou Bakura, Aquailita, Dynamite and Soup... wait... WHAT?!

Rating: A _VERY_ sexy abridged T++ (or M-, if you wanna think of it that way). T right now but might change to M by chapter 3

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**HELLO! Hello to everyone here from Italian Curls and British Bunny Ears (or Bat Wings), hello to everyone from 14 YGO Pairings I Don't [Really] Ship, hello to my followers, and welcome to all newcomers to this SUPER-SEPCIAL-AWESOME thiefshipping story that has something to do with Hetalia.**

**By that, I mean that Bakura's hair is just like the Italy Brothers' hair... You know what I mean. You should go read ICaBBE(oBW) (pronounced eye-cayb-bee-oh-bwuh) now so you can get a BG info idea about it. Because well...this _is _a sequel, after all. Just a continuation.  
****A follow-up story to my highest fic on the rating scale: T+, Italian Curls and British Bunny Ears (or Bat Wings). If you haven't read up to at least chapter 7 in it, I suggest you go right to that fic and either read it all the way through or skip to chapter 7. Because it has some background info in it that I will not recap in this fic. Because that's not what imma do here.**

**So this is going to replace ICaBBE(oBW) as number one on my rankings for fanfic ratings. Originally it was the highest rated I've ever done, a very sexy thiefshipping T+. But this... Well I can consider this a VERY sexy thiefshipping M-. I'm not at an M yet because I still don't do M's. But I'm getting there!**

**I'd like to thank Rueky Ishtar (I spelled it right!) for being my biggest supporter of ICaBBE(oBW), and I hope you will be my biggest fan of this as well~!  
****So anyway...  
****Erm...**

**Like I said, this is a sequel and Marik and Bakura are in the same position (lol I said position...) and status that we left them in ICaBBE(oBW) (pronounced eye-cayb-bee-oh-bwuh). But the difference is that we are now remembering... Bakura is a spirit in the Millenium Ring and I never mentioned Bakura or Melvin getting separate bodies from their hikaris. So what happens when a hikari breaks through...?**

**Ryou, forgive me!  
Bakura, forgive me as well!**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, Soup, Dynamite, Pokemon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, Pokemon, any of their characters, any tea-making skills, or the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

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_~In the midst of a conversation...~_

"I know that, Marik. But it doesn't mean anything is going to change about it."

"It doesn't?" Marik asked, sliding closer to Bakura on the bed.

The ancient spirit continued to stare dismally out the window at the night sky. Both of them were bathed in the light of the full moon.

Bakura had been feeling down about something a few minutes ago, and had just finished explaining it to Marik who was now consoling him.

"It doesn't," Bakura said with a sigh. His face hardened. "But the only thing I have control over is how I react to it. And this is how I choose to deal with it."

"Oh is it now?" Marik asked somewhat seductively, wrapping his arms around Bakura's waist.

Bakura was too wound up to notice and mistook the gesture for a simple hug. "It is. So I guess I will just be ignoring the idea of it... For now."

"Oh will you?" Marik said even more seductively.

"Yes, I w-" He paused when he felt Marik's hand suddenly move from around his waist to on his head and pass over his hair _very_ close to one of his bat-wing spikes of hair. Then a moment later, he felt a finger slide across it.

Bakura shivered and sighed at the touch and smiled over his shoulder at Marik. "Marik? Are you trying to distract me and cheer me up?"

"That depends," Marik said nonchalantly. "Is it working?"

"Yes."

"Then I guess I am."

"Usually I'm the one distracting _you_ with sex."

"Well you're feeling down so I guess the tables have to turn for once."

Bakura wrapped his arms around Marik's waist and pulled him closer, practically pulling the Egyptian on his lap. He moved his face closer to Marik's and whispered, "Well then let them turn." And he kissed Marik. Marik immediately began kissing back.

Gradually, the kiss grew more fevered and passionate and hungry. Bakura's hand snaked its way from Marik's side to Marik's neck. He circled with his thumb a particular area on Marik's neck where he liked to bite often. Marik's hand stayed where it was on Bakura's head, and began gently stroking the fluffy white hair. Bakura would usually start purring at that, but he was still a bit tense from his negative mood a few moments ago. Time to kick it up a notch then, Marik reasoned.

Marik's other hand went for the hem of Bakura's black T-shirt and tugged at it a bit. Then the hand slipped underneath and slid up Bakura's skin. The hand, and the rest of Marik (minus his mouth) froze instantly when a few of his fingers touched something cold and hard, and other fingers touched what felt like a bulge in Bakura's skin as well as a warm and somewhat thick liquid.

Surprised and confused, Marik immediately halted their make-out session and pulled away. He took his hand out from under Bakura's shirt and examined it. Though his skin and the liquid were both dark, the moon was bright and he had a hunch as to what it could be. Bakura watched as his partner cautiously smelled his fingers. He gasped. "Bakura!"

"What?" Bakura asked impatiently, eager to get back to what they were doing.

Marik held up his hand for Bakura to see clearly. "Why the frigging Ra are you bleeding?!"

"Don't you-"

Marik suddenly grabbed Bakura's shirt and pulled up over his head. Before he could pull the shirt off completely, Marik's eyes widened at what lay underneath.

The Millenium Ring was hanging from Bakura's neck, the five points lodged into his chest and drawing blood from it. The dark red color of the blood contrasted sharply and beautifully from Bakura's pale white skin. But it also contrasted somewhat gruesomely.

"Bakura..." Marik breathed as he removed the shirt completely. "You... Why?"

Bakura rolled his eyes at his forgetful and ignorant roommate. "Marik I've told you every single Ra damn bloody time you ask. I sleep with it like this so it doesn't fall off when I sleep. And so Ryou can't take it off if he regains control while I'm unaware."

"Does Ryou even come out anymore?" Marik asked. "I haven't seen him in like months."

"I let the kid out every other week for like two minutes," Bakura replied. "I like it like this though. Makes it feel safe and secure. And I like the blood. Blood excites me... Marik..." He reached up and traced the area on Marik's neck again with his thumb. "You know that..." he said in a whisper.

Involuntarily, Marik leaned into the touch and tilted his head. He started slowly leaning towards Bakura and his eyelids drooped as he fell. But before he closed his eyes completely, he remembered what he had just seen and shook his head, moving back to an upright position. "Gah! No! Bakura... I don't like blood as much as you do! I like killing people and driving people insane about half as much as Melvin does, but I don't really like the blood involved. Can you please take the Millenium Ring off for right now? Please? And clean up those wounds they're disgusting and might get infected!"

"Marik if you're concerned for my health, don't be. I'm perfectly fine and used to it." Marik 'hmphed' and turned away a bit. "Stop being a bloody idiot and get over it. You're overreacting about nothing. Come on." He put a hand under Marik's chin and tried to coax him to turn his head. "Please...~?"

"No, Kura!" Marik cried out. "I don't like to see you bleeding you like that! It worries me! Plus I don't want you getting blood all over the bed!"

"It's not even your bed, Marik."

"I still don't want you getting blood all over it. Cuz who does the laundry? Me!"

"Marik, my bed sheets are black. You're not going to notice the bloodstains. And think about how many bloodstains are there right now that you don't know about. Probably a lot."

"It's not just that!" Marik insisted. "It's just that... Okay the truth is that the Millenium Ring scares me and I'm worried that it's going to seriously hurt one of us and also it creeps me out a lot to see it just digging into your skin like that okay!" After that, all was silent. Marik folded his arms and turned away from Bakura more.

Bakura gave him a hug from behind, careful not to get any blood on him. "You sound like Ryou."

"What?!" Marik cried. "Why the frig do I remind you of your Gay/British/Lame/Shemale/Adorable hikari host-guy-person?"

"Heheheh... It's because he always worried about those things and he once told me exactly what you just said! It's ridiculous. But I _do_ see where you are coming from. And Marik, he's not gay. Just extremely British. You know that. I'm the gay one. That being said... Can we please..." he leaned over and licked Marik's neck. "...finish what we started?"

Marik shook his head and yawned. "No, Kura. Not tonight. Too tired." He unwrapped Bakura's arms from around him and scooted away.

"Weren't you the one who brought this on? If anything, I should be the one telling _you_ I'm not in the mood."

"But you _are_. And I'm not. I may have provoked you but now I'm tired." He yawned again and walked around to the other side of Bakura's bed. His room was across the hall, but he was going to spend the night in Bakura's bed to keep him company and continue to console him after the little angsty/depressed mood he had been in for the past three hours. "Go clean yourself up, put a shirt on, then get to bed." Marik climbed under the covers and closed his eyes so he could wait for Bakura.

Bakura sighed and rolled his eyes, but got up and went to the bathroom to clean all the blood off himself, put on an extra thick undershirt, then put the same still clean T-shirt back on. When he entered his room again, he found Marik breathing loudly and evenly; he had already fallen asleep.

The spirit smiled and planted a good night kiss on his forehead. Then he tucked himself into bed, wrapped an arm around his sleeping Egyptian partner (in crime and in love), and fell asleep.

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**OOOOOHHHH! Our first mention of the plot: Ryou and the Ring. Why is that the plot, you ask? Well look at the title... Heheheh...**

**The next chapter might be for A LONG WHILE! like... Maybe I'll update once a week. Sorry. I have a good story-plotish-thing for this, but there are some gaps in the chapters. right now there is a gap between chapters 2 and 3, and between 5 and 7 (an estimation). But hopefully you won't kill me if I tell you that it's once a week. And hopefully I'll have more time to... you know what? Take the chapter and just wait for the next! Trust me, you'll love it! But no more hints! k?  
****Go read A Scar Stamp and A Sexy Shipping while you're waiting for the next chapter of this. It was a random idea that I got and it is my practice for chapter 3 of this (because I'm still not 100% comfortable with writing M's, but I'm getting close)!**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	2. Remove An Item,,,

**Hello everyone again! I'm back. This chapter will be very short. I don't really know how I'm going to manage the next chapter...**

**But whatever. Hopefully ASSandASS is helping. I think it is... Because of chapter 5. I just noticed that I speak of my stories in terms of title acronyms and chapters. Huh... Well whatever. Hope you enjoy this one and don't kill me if I can't write the next. You can't force me... (~_~)**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, Soup, Dynamite, Pokémon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, Pokémon, any of their characters, any tea-making skills, or the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

"Maaaaariiiik~!" Bakura sang.

Marik looked over at Bakura, who was sitting on his bed. He blinked when he noticed that Bakura was topless. And Ringless.

Marik smiled. "You want something from me?" he jokingly asked, knowing full well what the answer was.

"You in the mood?"

"Always in the mood for you," Marik said, moving from his desk to his bed.

"Not what you said last night," Bakura reminded.

"I said I was too tired. Never said I wasn't in the mood." He sat down in Bakura's lap and lowered his voice. "Always in the mood for you," he repeated in a whisper. He nibbled Bakura's ear for a moment, then moved to Bakura's mouth and kissed him.

"Always," Bakura repeated just before their lips touched.

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******Yeah. Wasn't kidding when I said it'd be short. That was exactly 130 words, according to the word counter.**

******OOOOHHHH! Bakura took it off! What's gonna happen!? Again, look at the title and description. You can figure it out.  
But what you DON'T know is how it's going to play out! But don't worry! I won't be THAT cruel to Ryou! I promise!**

******BIG NEWS! Apparently I was able to finish the next chapter just enough. I hope. It's my first one so...erm... Well, I'll explain it in the next AN.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	3. The Smallest Yellow Citrus Fruit Ever

**Hi... *hides face* ugh.**

**This chapter is short, but not as short as the last chapter.**

**This chapter is what made me paranoid to raise the rating to M. Well... Either I could keep this at T and just say this chapter is rated M or I could just make the whole thing M. Really this is probably the only sex scene in this whole fanfic, so I'll just do the former:**

THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M BECAUSE SHUT UP.

**This was so difficult for me to write. You know how I keep saying "oh I don't do M's blah blah blah". This is my first attempt at writing yaoi, so PLEASE DON'T HATE ME! I honestly thought that ASSandASS (funny acronym, right?) would be my first time writing something lemon-y or lime-y (lol limey... OMG BAKURA IS A BRIT AND HE'S ALSO LIMEY THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!) but no, this is it. I don't even know...**

**ANYWAY! RYOU PLEASE FORGIVE ME! WAH! ****Be nice in the reviews please! (both about the lemony-crap-stuff and also what I did to my little British creampuff, Ryou.)**

**Warning: Contains yaoi *cringe*, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, Soup, Dynamite, Pokémon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, Pokémon, any of their characters, any tea-making skills, or the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

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**_~Later~_**

Marik said nothing coherent, all he did was moan and cry out like Bakura did. Well, not really. Marik was more of the moaner and Bakura was more of the shouter. Both of them breathed heavily.

"Marik! Do it!"

He knew what Bakura wanted. He moved one hand from where he dug his nails into Bakura's wrist and the other one from where he was teasing and moved them both up to Bakura's hair. He took one bat wing in each hand and tugged.

Bakura moaned loudly with a violent shudder and leaned up against Marik who held himself up above him.

Marik took advantage of that and leaned his head down to Bakura's neck. He gently nibbled on the skin, then gradually accelerated to the hungry gnawing that he knew Bakura loved and usually did on HIM, trying to make him bleed. Times like these were the only times that Marik ever shared Bakura's love for the taste and sight of blood. Bakura's and, to his own surprise, occasionally his own.

Suddenly, Bakura felt a feeling that was all too familiar, although not that common. A feeling that had nothing to do with what he and Marik were doing. He suddenly lost all feelings of pleasure and enjoyment for what was going on. "M-Marik!" he cried out.

"Yes?" Marik breathed.

"I think I'm about to-"

Marik slowed down and asked, "Seriously? You usually last longer than thi-"

Bakura didn't let him finish his sentence because there was no way that Marik actually knew what was really going on. "N-n-no!" he quickly interjected. "Not that! Something else! Get off me please!"

"Why?"

"Just do it!"

"But!"

"Marik please just stop shagging me for one bloody minute and get the bugger off of me!" Marik started to pull out of him, but the Brit didn't have any patience to spare at the moment. Bakura mustered up his strength and flexibility to push their bodies away from each other and shove Marik off of him. He quickly rolled over on his back and tried to catch his breath. Marik was breathing hard as well. Bakura covered himself with the black comforter up to his chest where the Millenium Ring would usually be.

"Bakura..." Marik said between breaths. "Why... Did you...? Was it something I did?"

"No, Marik! It wasn't you!" Bakura quickly said. "You were just perfect as always. It's me! The Ring!" He was trying to resist the change as much as possible so he could tell Marik what was about to happen. "R-"

Too late.

Bakura suddenly stopped breathing hard for a moment and closed his eyes. Marik sat up in alarm. He blinked and gasped in surprise as he watched Bakura's hair relax, his bunny ears flatten down, his face turn softer and calmer, and his facial expression go neutral. Then he started breathing normally again, but a bit heavier.

"Oh crap in a bucket," Marik mumbled. He froze, not knowing what to do.

Ryou finally opened his eyes.

* * *

**(AN: This is all you're getting. It was torture to even write this. You're welcome.)**

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******RYOU PLEASE FORGIVE ME!**

******Next chapter is where the self-insert comes in. Prepare for the torture mwahahah! (btw I was saying that to Bakura. For you guys, I say,) And also prepare for the craziness! I really don't know what to say anymore.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	4. The Switch Effect

**HELLO AGAIN! Now that chapter 3 is OVER WITH!, we can get on with the story much faster! Expect maybe two updates a week! This has a LOT more chapters than I realized.  
And once again a character I put in here is having a much bigger impact on this story than I thought. You'll see what I mean. But it's kind of like how I didn't expect Kuriby from ThiefSlipping to be such an influence on the plot, and yet he was! Interesting. **

**HERE YOU GO!**

**THANKS IN ADVANCE TO D-...erm... nevermind. I won't spoil it.**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, lemons, Soup, explosives, Pokémon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, Pokémon, any of their characters, any tea-making skills, or the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Ryou looked around in utter confusion. He noticed simultaneously that Marik was next to him and both of them were naked.

"AAAHHHH!" he screamed.

Marik covered his ears against the sound for a second.

Ryou's breathing sped up and his heart raced in panic and fear. His mind racing a mile a minute, he quickly realized what was probably going on here. He obviously hadn't passed out before and suddenly become sober. And he obviously hadn't knowingly volunteered to this. And he had this...feeling. Both an intuition and an actual physical feeling. He instantly realized what had happened. But he still couldn't help but ask, "Marik why the bloody hell are we naked and what the bugger am I doing here?!"

Marik quickly brightened the table lamp. "No! Turn it off please I don't want to see!" Marik quickly dimmed it again.

Ryou called upon his inner strength and pulled himself together long enough to ask, "Where are my clothes?"

"On the floor on your side," Marik said at last.

Ryou quickly dropped over to his side of the floor and began frantically dressing himself. Marik leaned over and was able to see the small white head trembling as he moved about on the floor. Finally, he stopped moving. Marik assumed he was done. So he dressed himself as well, minus his shirt, and tried to sit next to Ryou. "Ry..." he said gently. "Are you okay?" He reached out a gentle and comforting hand.

Ryou shied away from the hand and ran across the room to sit against the wall and hide his face behind his knees. Be began sobbing loudly.

Marik stayed where he was. If only Bakura were here... He would know how to deal with Ryou. But why had they switched out?

"No, Marik! It wasn't you!" Bakura had said. "It's me! the Ring! Ryou..."

The Ring... Bakura said something before about a twenty minute time limit... He could only be separated from the Millenium Ring for about half an hour before Ryou could regain control again. Which sucked. And Bakura had probably ditched the Ring about ten minutes before he had informed Marik of it. Marik was sure that at least ten minutes had passed since then.

Now Ryou was out. _This_ is why Bakura always slept with the Ring in his body like that!

After putting his purple hoodie back on, Marik quickly ran to Bakura's room to get the Millenium Ring from where he always kept it when he wasn't using it.

He walked over to Ryou and knelt down next to him. He gently tapped the crying Brit on the shoulder. Ryou flinched and looked up. His face looked more angry than traumatized, Marik noticed. "I believe this is yours?" he said, holding out the Millenium Ring.

Ryou took one look at it and smacked it out of Marik's hand, sending it sliding across the floor. He put his head back down and continued crying silently.

Marik watched the Ring slide away from him. After a few moments of looking back and forth between it and Ryou, he crawled over to where it had stopped and picked it up. Ryou obviously refused to wear or even touch it, so Marik slipped on the Ring himself.

He waited five minutes, because that's usually how long it took for Bakura to contact him from the Ring.

During these five minutes, he watched Ryou gradually calm down, saw all traces of trauma on his face being replaced with anger, and watched him put a hand under his shirt and feel his chest, probably touching the five bandages Bakura had put on earlier. Then he felt something wet on his neck. He rubbed his neck and then looked at it. It had blood on it. He glared at Marik again, then began to cry again, the anger never leaving his face and the despair never coming back.

Five minutes was up. "Hey there."

Bakura appeared beside Marik in his spirit form, fully dressed in the same clothes Ryou was wearing. "Marik, what did you do?"

"Me?!" Marik whispered harshly. Ryou picked up his head and observed Marik arguing with the air in a whisper. "Why is this my fault! It's _your _host and _your_ Millenium Item. Shouldn't _you _be responsible?"

"You're the one who told me to take it off! And I did. For you. And _this_ is what happened. You know it's only twenty minutes I can-"

"Then why didn't you just take it off later rather than sooner?! If you knew this would happen, why didn't you do something about it?"

"At least I made us stop before we switched! And I barely had enough time to explain..."

"No! I mean why didn't you do something to prevent this?"

"I did! But you-"

"Both of you shut the bugger up or else I will unleash my adorable and accented British Rage on you!"

The two lovers/roommates/friends/partners-in-crime turned to the small British boy who had stood up and stomped over to them.

"WHAT?!" they asked loudly, not liking to be interrupted from their arguing.

Ryou shrank back a bit at their volume, but pulled himself together and stood up straight. He turned to Bakura, clenched his fists and held them at his sides, closed his eyes and yelled as loud as he could, "What the bloody hell were you doing with Marik?! And why was I let out to see it?!"

"First of all," Bakura told him calmly, "you were _not_ 'out to see it', thanks to me. You're welcome."

"Apology absolutely _not_ accepted!"

"Second of all, you should have stayed in your soul room like I always order you to until I personally come and let you out!"

"I didn't just walk out! The Ring was off and I was just tugged back to control!"

"Shut up and stop interrupting! Third of all, this is Marik's fault because he made me remove the Ring before hand."

"Oh, now it's _my_ fault?" They clenched their fists and turned on each other again. "You said you removed it voluntarily _for_ me! And you shouldn't have taken it off so soon! You should have waited!"

"Well I had to clean the blood off again and patch myself off." When he said this, he moved a ghostly hand over Ryou's chest. Ryou tried to bat the hand away, but his hand passed right through the spirit's. "You are always complaining about me getting blood all over the appartment! And I'm not the only one bleeding around here! Between your clumsiness and Melvin's... Melvinness, 25% of the blood around here is yours! And 25% is mine! And the last 50% is from my and Melvin's victims! So you are half to blame!"

"I don't stab people and myself and bleed all over everything! That's what you do!"

"You stabbed yourself just last week."

"By _accident_! And I didn't stab myself, I cut myself. There wasn't even that much blood."

"Speaking of blood!" Ryou shouted. They turned and glared at him. He was pointing at his still bleeding neck and blushing for obvious reasons. "Why?!"

"Why do you think, Ryou?" Bakura asked him harshly. "What? I can't have my own life and relationships?"

"No, you can't!" the hikari shouted, the tears starting to fall again. "Not physical ones especially! It's my body and you have no right to be shagging someone else with it, especially someone I don't even like..."

_Yeah I hate you too_, Marik thought.

"...and then letting me out to see it happen! Especially when it's another male and I told you a million bloody times I AM NOT GAY! Why must you always ruin my life and break my spirit and my heart, Yami? WHY? What did I ever do to you?! All I ever did was help you and fear you! One of these days I'm going to end up ship- _sending_ the Millenium Ring back to my father or maybe give it to Yugi! Or toss it right into Season Five! I'm tired of this!" Ryou burried his face in his hands continued to cry. Bakura could tell that they were tears of sadness and stress, not of anger this time.

Bakura had caught on to several things in that little rant. One, Ryou kept saying 'another'. Two, he said 'sending' instead of 'shipping' for a very good and deliberate reason. Three, Ryou had dared to suggest that he would get rid of the Millenium Ring. Not only was that explicitly forbidden by Bakura, but it was also impossible to do. To sum up, Bakura was wary of the first one, humored by the second one, and angered by the third one. Dealing with the third one could wait. For now, he wanted to make sure the first one didn't mean anything.

"I swear that there better not be any tendershipping in this..."

"What shipping?" Marik asked in a whisper.

"I keep Ryou under control by making him believe that I actually _care_ about him," Bakura whispered back, to quiet for Ryou to hear. "I hope he's not taking it too far. Although the chances of it in this story are unlikely, Aquailita is a tendershipper and it's one of-" He gasped.

"_HER_..." Bakura growled. He didn't like me and never will.

"SPEAKING OF AQUAILITA!"

Everyone turned to the side to see a teenage girl with brown hair in a ponytail, wearing a Hetalia shirt, standing there with her arms folded, and tapping her foot.

She had a certain...attitude about her that Marik, Bakura, and even Ryou knew all too well. They knew who it was.

A fangirl.

A fanfic writer.

Aquailita.

Me.

And I was pissed off.

* * *

******OH CRAP! SHIT JUST GOT REAL...ALL UP IN THIS BITCH!**

******Yup. I'm pissed off and they made my Ryou-kun creampuff sad and traumatized. So I put myself in there to set things straight. Should be fun.  
Everyone, wish me luck that Bakura doesn't kill me!**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	5. Apology Expected (AKA Enter Author)

**Here's your first update of the week. You're welcome. There might be a second, if I'm not too busy or if I feel like it.**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, lemons, Soup, explosives, Pokémon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, Pokémon, any of their characters, any tea-making skills, or the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

"What the frig is going in here?!" I shouted at Bakura and Marik. I stepped between them and Ryou. Ryou took a step backwards, understanding that my rage would protect him, not be aimed at him. "Kura-chan! What did you do to my Ryou-kun!"

"Ryou, it's her fault!" Bakura shouted at his still-crying hikari. "She's the author of this fanfic! She did this!" Then Bakura put a thoughtful hand on his chin. "But I suppose that I liked what you were doing with this earlier..."

"OH SHUT UP! Just for that one sentence, you and Marik aren't having sex in this story anymore!"

"What?!" Marik cried. He turned to Bakura and scolded him. "Bakura! You really need to stop pissing off reviewers and authors! And fangirls. They can hate and destroy you just as easily as they can love and destroy you!"

"I don't bloody care!" I resisted the urge to have a tiny fangirl moment over Baku's Britishness and catchphrase. He turned back to me. "What do you want?"

"I want you to apologize to Ryou right now!"

"What for?!" he shouted back. "_You_ are the one writing this whole thing! So _you_ apologize you bloody fangirling tart-face!" He swung at me with his kitty claws, but they went right through me because he's only a spirit and also because I'm the author.

"Nice try," I said with a triumphant smirk. "And I _will_ apologize later! But you two...! Are messed up!"

"_Your_ story!"

"Ohohoho! On the contrary my feline fangirl-interest! I didn't want to actually write chapter three! I started, but stopped. But you and Marik just kept going at it and I had no choice but to write! I realized how terrible it would be to do that to Ryou, but I had no control over the scene anymore! This_ isn't _a tendershipping or an angstshipping story, so I don't _want_ Ryou to get hurt like this! Now apologize before this chapter ends or I will ask D&S to come up with another punishment for your sorry evil sexy limey kitty Egyptian ass!"

"You'd better not!"

"Then apologize!"

I turned around and gently put a hand on Ryou's shoulder. "Come on..." I said in a soft and gentle voice. "Let's get that those ugly bite marks cleaned up and then I'll make you some tea. How does that sound?"

"Like a bloody good idea," Ryou whispered, trying to cheer up.

"I know." I put my arm around him and began walking him out of Marik's room. I glared threateningly at Marik and Florence as I led my favorite of the Bakuras away from them.

"Aquailita wait!"

I paused and looked over my shoulder at Marik. "What?" I asked in a cold tone.

"Serious question though..."

His face looked serious, so I turned my self towards him and said, "Okay, but as long as it's not too bloody irrelevant or ridiculous." But knowing how ICaBBE(oBW) started, it probably would be.

"No, it's not bloody irrelevant and ridiculous. Where did you get that Hetalia shirt!?" he asked enthusiastically. "I have one, but not the one you're wearing. I've been looking for it."

"Hot Topic, I believe," I said, before shaking my head and turning away. "Marik that question was so bloody irrelevant and ridiculous! And Bakura, the chapter is almost over so I will give you until the end of next chapter to apologize." Ryou and I finally left.

.

Being the author, I'm omniscient. So I know what happened after I left the room.

Bakura elbowed Marik in the ribs for asking such a stupid question. "Marik that _was_ so bloody irrelevant and ridiculous!"

"Ow!" he cried, rubbing the spot where Bakura had elbowed. "How is it even possible for you to touch me?"

"You're wearing the Ring," Bakura answered simply.

"Oh shut the [EFF!] up!"

"Hehe... I was wondering when you'd start cursing in this story. I missed your little sound EFFect."

"Hmph. Shut up."

* * *

******THERE IS FORESHADOWING IN THIS CHAPTER! Can you find it?**

******Next chapter is really long.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	6. Apology Accepted (AKA Access Denied)

**Here's your second update of the week. You're welcome. My mind wouldn't rest or let me concentrate on my English essay due tomorrow until I put this chapter up. Now that I have, my inner fangirl is content and will let my brain do academic things.  
This chapter is long, by the way. Chapters will start to be _much_ longer now.**

**So, do you think that Bakura will actually apologize to his hikari before I end this chapter? Not sure. He might. Might not.  
Will I leave if he does, since it would mean that my original reason for inserting myself is fulfilled? Maybe. I might. Might not.**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, lemons, Soup, explosives, Pokémon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, Pokémon, any of their characters, any tea-making skills, or the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

_~In the bathroom~_

I held up a wet washcloth to Ryou's neck, then pulled it away. It came back bloody. But the bleeding had stopped and I had wiped away all the blood.

"It hurts, Aqua..." he moaned as I applied pressure to it. "Can I call you something besides Aquailita? I'm British, you know, and people are confused enough about how to pronounce your Internet name."

"Well I _am_ Aquailita so it would get confusing. But for everyone's sake, I will tell you that it's pronounced ah-quail-ih-tah. But everyone keeps pronouncing it Ah-quail-ee-tah, so I guess I'll just pronounce it like that from now on. That should make it easier."

"Well now that I know how to pronounce it, I'll just call you Aqua for now. So as I was saying... It hurts."

"I know it does," I said as I dug through the band-aid box looking for a big one like the one Marik wore in the end chapters of ICaBBE(oBW) (again pronounced as an acronym as eye-cay-bee-oh-bwuh). "They bite each other pretty hard. It scares me." Ryou cringed at that. "But it should heal soon. It just won't heal as fast as it usually would because your injury is now a story component and won't heal for continuity's sake. Sorry. But anyway... Hold still..."

I opened up an alcohol cleaning pad from the medical kit and started cleaning the bite. "Ow, bugger that hurts!"

"Shush the frig, Ry. Almost done."

I finished up and put the band-aid on. "There. All better."

"Thanks..." He rubbed the band-aid gently.

"No prob!"

Ryou sat down on the toilet lid and his lip began to tremble.

"Ra no, frig no, Ree oh, don't cry now!"

"Why not?!"

"Because right now I need to be a strong author-person and not a squealing head-over-heals-nose-bleeding-squealing fangirl right now. And you are adorable when you cry. Sad, but adorable." I held out a hand. "Come on. Let's get you some tea."

He took the hand, stood up, and walked out of the bathroom with me. "Do you drink tea, Aqua? Do you even know how to make tea?"

"No and no. But this is my story so I can make myself conveniently know how! And also, Bakura keeps tea in the cupboard so I know he has your favorite one."

"Oh that's just smashing!"

I remembered that Ryou was holding my hand, and he had just said something British. So I couldn't help but giggle a little. I covered my mouth with my hand and squealed into it for approximately two seconds.

Ryou looked at me funny. "What was that all about?" he asked, sounding concerned.

I patted him on the head a few times and answered, "You know I'm one of your fangirls, Ry. I needed to let that out now or I would do it at an inappropriate time later."

Ryou flinched a bit. "You're not going to nosebleed or glomp me, are you?" he asked somewhat fearfully.

I patted his head again. "Don't worry! I don't glomp and I don't nosebleed. Also my little cousin glomped me from behind once. The experience was terrible. So I vowed to never glomp one of my fangirl-interests so they won't have to go through what I did."

Ryou sighed in relief. "Whew! That's a relief!"

"It is."

And then we were...

* * *

_~In the kitchen~_

Ryou sat down in one of the chairs close to the counter. I took out some tea-things and started making Ryou's favorite tea. As I worked, I occasionally looked over at him. He had his head down in his arms folded on the table, but I could tell that he wasn't crying.

A few moments later, I sensed something happening back in Marik's room.

"That's not really even possible," I mumbled, "but it's still not gonna happen."

Ryou heard me and picked up his head. "What was that?"

"Nothing, Ry. Almost done!"

"Kay." He put his head back down.

I used my author's power to remove the spirit that was Bakura off of Marik's lap. I made a message appear next to them on the bed. I sensed them read the note, take the warning to heart, and move apart. I smirked and went back to brewing.

A short while later, it was done.

"Done!" I cried happily. Ryou perked up.

I got out two blue tea cups, served both of us tea, and sat down next to him.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome!" I immediately and stupidly picked up my cup to drink.

"Aqua, wait..."

I burned my tongue. Ryou grabbed the cup before I accidentally dropped it. "ACK!" I yelled. "That's hot."

"I tried to warn you..." he said as he set the cup down.

But I had been able to register the taste. And I cried out in the best British accent I've ever done, "Oh my bugger that is the most smashing cup of tea I've ever had in my entire bloody life!"

Ryou raised an eyebrow at me, both confused and concerned. "You alright there?"

"Yeah I'm fine!" I said, shaking off the burn and the accent. "Wow! That was so good it made me British for a moment! I can see why you like it! Also, I conveniently know how to make tea in this story. That might also be it."

"Possibly."

We remained silent as we drank our tea. I refrained from speaking for five seconds after each sip so I wouldn't randomly say anything British again in a random British accent.

When he was one sip away from being done, Ryou pushed his cup away from him and put his head down on the table again, folding his arms around it.

I pushed my cup aside as well, waited four more seconds, then put a hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"Are you bloody kidding me?" he cried, sitting upright. My hand fell off his shoulder. "You know what happened in there! Marik and my yami were..." His voice cracked. "And then I... And my..." He started crying again. "I can't even say it! Why would he..."

His eyes suddenly widened and he gasped. He turned to me accusingly and narrowed his eyes. "Is what my evil alter ego said true about this being your fault? Did you really let this happen on purpose?"

"What! Oh Ryou no!" I cried defensively. "I love you! I'm your fangirl! I hate when Bakura screws with your life! It's true that I'm a thief and tender shipper, but I didn't want this to happen!"

"Then would you, the author with all the power, explain why it did!" He folded his arms and stared at me expectantly.

I lowered my head and sighed, then picked it up and started to explain. "It _is_ a fact that the incident that just occurred was the plot for this fanfic. Originally!" I saw him open his mouth to say something but I held up a hand to keep him quiet. "But! As I was writing this I realized how terrible it would be to do this to you. Also I don't write M's and I was forcing myself to try. So I stopped. But things kept happening even as I stopped putting words down and eventually I had no choice but to keep writing. Something compelled me to do it! I didn't want to Ry! Honestly! I'm sorry! I'm sorry, lo siento, and gomen'nasai! I said it three different languages ! That means that I mean it. And think about it!" My tone and stance changed from defensive to offensive. "No matter what way you look at it, whether or not I willingly made this happen, Florence is at fault here. He should have been more careful and he knew the rules of the Ring. Marik and I are not the ones to blame here."

At last, I let Ryou speak. "I never said I blamed him."

"No. But you resent him. And envy him. This fic is thiefshipping. But I can't help it if a bit of tenderness leaks in from my subconscious. I don't let it happen voluntarily, but it happens. You're jealous of Marik and Bakura, aren't you?"

"Maybe!"

"But you're not gay."

"Nope!"

"Okay so let me fix this..." Because we couldn't have a shipping contradiction here!

Ryou felt a change in himself. "I suddenly don't care about Marik and I don't blame him anymore," he admitted. "And I am still furious at my yami."

"There we go! No more tendershippy! Maybe another time but not here."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." I took the last sip of my tea, waited five seconds, then asked shyly, "Um... Ryou?"

"Yes, Aqua?"

"I need to um... Can I hug you? Only for a second or two. I'll hold back my squeal."

Since I had been so nice to him and because he knew that I was a mild fangirl, he allowed it. "Alright."

I quickly hugged him, _then_ broke away and squealed into my hand. I sat up straight and serious. "Okay thanks. I'm all better now for the next two to four chapters chapters. Now let's see what those two wankers are up to!"

"How are we going to do that? I don't exactly feel like seeing them again."

"Simple!" I pointed at the giant gap in the no-longer-standing Fourth Wall, meaning at the audeience behind the screen. "With a ~Meanwhile~!"

* * *

_~Meanwhile~_

Just after Ryou and I had finished up in the bathroom...

Marik sighed and sat on his bed. "I _shall_ get that shirt!" he shouted confidently. "And also we will make sense of what the frig just happened." He glared at Bakura, who was leaning against the wall with his eyes closed, massaging his temples with his pointer and middle fingers. "This _is _your fault," he said. "No matter how you look at it and no matter how many accusations you throw at the authoress, it all comes down to your carelessness. You know how the Yami-Hikari thing works and you have a better sense of time than I do. I don't know this stuff. It is all your fault."

Bakura was silent for a few seconds before asking, "Are you quite done blaming me for everything?"

"Pretty much."

"Okay then. Well since we're alone... I guess I can admit that I… _did_ have some fault here."

"_Some_? How about _all_?"

"Now that Aquailita seems to have made a character of herself here, we now have someone to blame. She is in control of everything here, as scary as it sounds."

"Why are you sounding like you hate her? Don't you love your fangirls?"

"Ugh!" Bakura shuddered. "No! That's my creampuff hikari. Not me. I love _some_ of them. You know, the ones that like to send me their amputated fingers because they think their blood excites me, which it does. And the ones that I could snap my fingers at and they would throw themselves at my feet and obey my every command. I remember a comment on YouTube I saw once. 'If all Bakura needed to be happy were cucumbers, than every one of his fangirls in the world would start sending him cucumbers.' Something like that. I'm pretty sure Aquailita isn't like that. I bet that if I asked her to buy be cucumbers, she would pout at me, go to the store, and come back and say 'Fluffy, I didn't feel like buying you a cucumber so I bought you a pickle instead. Deal with it!' She isn't even glomp-prone. She doesn't squeal a lot. I don't like her. I hate those fangirls that love me but like to torture me because it's funny and adorable. Absolutely loathe it. Which is why I hate her."

"You do realize that I have fangirls too, right?"

"Do they torture you like mine do to me?"

"I don't... Think so."

"Even Ryou has it better than me. The only fangirl I actually specifically _like_ is..."

"One such person exists?"

"Of course she does. You."

"Hey!" Marik shouted. "Do I look like a [EFF!]ing fangirl to you?!"

Bakura pretended to look Marik over and consider it. "Do I really need to answer that for you?" he finally asked with a smirk.

Marik laughed. "Oh shut up. Come here?"

The see-through spirit of the Millenium Ring looked at Marik and smiled. He walked over to him and sat on his lap, since the other way around wasn't very possible. Bakura wrapped his arms around Marik and Marik tried to do the same. But again, not exactly possible.

"Well this is kinda awkward," Marik commented.

"I agree," Bakura agreed.

"I do hope you get a body before this fic is over. And I do hope that this chapter doesn't end before they come back. Because that would be really bad if you didn't pretend to apologize and mean it before the chapter is over."

"Yes... I know..."

Suddenly, Bakura was lifted off of Marik's lap and placed on the floor.

"Where you going?" Marik asked him. Why had he moved?

"Wasn't me!" Bakura insisted. His confused expression made Marik believe him. Bakura got off the floor and sat back next to Marik.

Then, Marik noticed a note appear on the bed. He picked it up and read it aloud. "I wasn't kidding. Break it up you two or I'll make Marik wear baggy midriff covering clothes for the rest of the chapter and make Bakura wear a kitty costume for the rest of the day." He and Bakura exchanged glances. "We weren't even doing anything!"

"I know but I know how much you like wearing tight and revealing clothes and you know how much I hate wearing kitty costumes. So..."

They both nodded once at each other and slid one foot away from the other on the bed.

"You know, Marik, considering the title and plot of this story and the previous one, I have a feeling that Aquailita won't make us stay apart for the _entire_ story. Knowing her and all the other fangirl authors out there, she's probably going to put in some huge sex scene at the end of this in the last chapter."

"_If_ she doesn't back out again!" Marik joked.

"Ha ha yeah." They both laughed a bit at how I shied away from writing that thing back in ICaBE(oBW)

"Anyway, Bakura," Marik said to change the subject. "Why do you still look like Ryou? Don't you take on the appearance of your host? Which is me."

"Two words: fanfiction convenience. And also you aren't acting as my host, only as my temporary vessel. Why am I even explaining this? Fanfiction convenience explains it all. But I would look good with tanned skin."

"Leave your not-sexier-than-me past version of yourself out of this."

"Okay, I shall leave my way-sexier-than-thou past version of myself out of it."

"Hey! No way were you ever sexier than me! Ever!"

"Akefia is a Bakura and the Bakuras are the best looking of all the Yu-Gi-Oh characters."

"Oh do _not_ start arguing with me about looks! I can go on _all_ day about how sexy and gorgeous I am so don't even get me started because I-"

"Alright alright alright!" Bakura waved his hands frantically at Marik, begging him to stop. He knew all too well that Marik _could_ go on literally all day about how absolutely flawless he looked.

And they didn't have time for that. Not if he wanted to be spared from another fangirl-requested punishment. Especially for the ever-so-hyper D&S.

"So what do you propose we do?" Bakura asked.

"Obviously, you apologize."

"But it wasn't my fault! It's hers! You can't blame me for how she wrote the story!"

"Bakura. Shut up and listen. Let's say that this wasn't a fanfic. Let's say that the Fourth Wall _hasn't_ been broken several times over. Just imagine that for a moment."

"Hmph."

"If this was the real world, Aquailita wouldn't be here to blame and be yelled at. Blaming her for your stupid mistake that ruined our rights to make there be any more lemons in this story is just like- OMR I just got a good idea just now- is just like blaming Martin Billany for Mevlin having to face a bitchy door or you getting Wankers Cramp. Those things happened anyway, and you can't blame the person who wrote it!"

Bakura was silent for a while, then he turned and looked at Marik with an amazed expression on his face. "M-marik... Did you just...say something reasonable and wise? Did you just say something smart and useful?!"

Marik grinned. "I did. I can be smarticle when I need to be. I only _act_ like a dumb blonde. You should know this by now."

"Right. Well, I still don't feel like apologizing. When have I ever apologized to Ryou? When? I don't really care about the kid. You know that."

"Then why is tendershipping your second favorite, right after thiefshipping?"

Bakura facepalmed, remembering how Marik had read his shipping lists from last story that he had made when he was bored. "Ugh. Because it's inevitable with our yami-hikari relationship that I be a little protective of him. But I don't really care." He lifted his head and smirked. "All this means is that I don't have to waste time thinking of some way to torture him and this can count. You know... I think that today was supposed to be the week I let him out for however many minutes, so there we go. This is his two minutes of freedom. Which really is probably going to last all day, with how this story is going."

"Bakura! I can't believe you! I mean I know you're heartless and all but, my Ra, at least just pretend you care!"

"Why do you care so much? About him?"

"I don't really. You know how you said your yami-hikari relationship means you automatically have to care about him at least a teeny tiny bit? Well I don't really like this, but the hikaris naturally are drawn to each other and also have mutual care for each other. Really, the only reason why I hate Yugi is because of revenge. If it weren't for that, we might be friends. And if you weren't too harsh on Ryou, maybe we would be friends, too."

"Ugh! What is this now? Some kind of crappy sym-"

* * *

**I guess he isn't going to apologize in this chapter. **

**And I thought Bakura was the smart(er) one in the relationship.**

**Don't worry. **

**I promise you that Bakura will get to apologize next chapter. **

**But that means he will be subject to a fangirl-organized punishment later.**

"Wait... What's going on?" Bakura says worriedly.

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEE~!**

* * *

"No! She can't end the chapter yet! And I actually want to apologize, I was just stalling! Marik get your ass out there! Hurry!"

Marik needed no other encouragement. With one hand on the Millenium Ring, he raced out of his room and ran to the kitchen.

Ryou and I saw him running while Bakura floated beside him. We were still seated at the kitchen table. I had taken the empty cups to the sink during the 'Meanwhile' thing.

"See? I knew it would work," I whispered to Ryou.

He giggled at the fact that my feign-ending made the two of them panic so much.

"Nice to see you two here," I greeted them with a smile and a wave. "What brings you here?"

Marik spoke between breaths. "Bakura...has something...to say...to Ryou."

"To me?" Ryou asked, trying to keep a straight face. "What does he have to say to me?"

Bakura stepped (he had put his feet on the ground when he had flown into the kitchen) forward. His face looked slightly embarrassed and slightly upset. All I got from it was that he felt degraded to be forced to apologize to his light and that he was pissed off that this happened in the first place. He opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated. "R-"

He couldn't do it.

He needed some encouragement.

I stood up, walked over to Marik, and leaned on his shoulder. "What the frig are you doing?"

"Waiting for him to apologize."

"Who said I was going to apologize?!"

"Why else would you run out like that in a panic because you _thought_ the chapter was over?" I replied with a smirk.

Bakura realized that I had been faking the end of the chapter. "Why you little..."

"Come on, Baku. Do it." I stopped leaning on Marik and I poked his midriff with my left hand while a random kitty-ears headband appeared in my right.

Marik spazzed and cried, "Hey! Stop that! The only people that are allowed to touch my midriff without being severely hurt are myself and Bakura."

"Well he doesn't get to touch _any_ part of you until he apologizes to Ryou. And he also will be forced to wear these kitty ears!" I held up the kitty ears and Bakura stared at them in horror.

"Okay fine!" Bakura floated to right in front of Ryou and put a hand on each of his shoulders. "Ryou, I am sorry for accidentally and carelessly letting you out while Marik and I were having sex. And I'm sorry about your injuries caused by Marik and the Millenium Ring. And for only giving you two minutes of freedom every week. Do you forgive me?"

Ryou's eyes widened. He looked into his yami's eyes and saw that Bakura was being totally sincere in his apology.

Who would've thought?

Ryou smiled.

"No. I don't."

"(0∆o)..."

"Just kidding!" Ryou said with a laugh. "I forgive you!" He wrapped his arms around the spirit (being the only one capable of actually touching him, despite the fact that he was in Marik's body at the moment and that he was in spirit form, because Bakura is Ryou's yami and not Marik's) and gave him a quick hug. "But only a little bit."

Bakura grunted and Ryou pulled away. "Okay. I'm done. I apologized. Can I take over now so I can make out with my boyfriend?"

"Bakura!" Marik exclaimed with the smallest hint of a blush on his face. "Try to be a _little_ more subtle in front of your fangirl and your hikari!"

"No. Shut up and let them answer."

"Hm... Let me think about it..." I said, putting a hand on my chin thoughtfully and letting the kitty ears disappear. Ryou also appeared to be in deep consideration.

Marik and Bakura exchanged glances as they waited for us to make our decision.

Finally, we answered.

"No."

* * *

******NOW the chapter is really over! ********tee hee hee!  
So Ryou and I just denied Bakura the right to make out with his boyfriend. What now? Who will het his/her way?! Find out next chapter!**

******Sorry if I spelled LK's last name wrong. I forget if it has one "l" or two.**

******I'm not dead yet, but I have no idea when Bakura and/or Marik will strike back at me!  
Wish me luck!**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	7. The Cost of Staying

**Edited this last minute at night before I was kicked off the computer. So forgive me for any obvious or fail-istic-ish errors. I'll try to fix them up in the monring!  
[EDIT: I forgot to do it the morning after, so here I am fixing it. Sorry about that!]**

**SO, DUN DUN DUUUUUN! According to the decision Ryou and I made, Bakura doesn't get to have control of Ryou's body so that he can physically interact with his ever-so-sexy Egyptian lover! OMG we are so mean! lolz. and so awesome! We're taking a stand! Well... Ryou is. I'm just there helping him. But you get the point.  
****WILL I _EVER_ LEAVE!? Who knows? Maybe. Maybe not.**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, lemons, Soup, explosives, Pokémon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, A Perfect Circle, Happy Tree Friends, Pokémon, any of their characters, any tea-making skills, or the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Bakura and Marik suddenly made dramatic anime OMGWTF faces. "WHAT?!" they cried.

"You said I could-" Bakura started.

I didn't let him finish. "I didn't say you could anything. I just said that if you _didn't_, you weren't. Never said that you could if you _did_."

"But that's not fair!" Marik cried.

"Nope. Don't care. Since I've made myself an insert here, I might as well stay. Besides, who else is going to watch over Ryou and make sure that you two don't mentally scar him? Erm...any more than you already have, I mean."

"Well," Ryou said quietly, "if Marik is going to keep the Millenium Ring then I guess I could deal with it..."

"Nope," Bakura interrupted. "You're going to have to keep the Ring on."

"But if you're still going to be with Marik anyway..."

"Of course I'm still staying with Marik. Physically."

Ryou's face turned slightly sickened for a moment. But he nodded and held his hand out. "Yes, Spirit," he said obediently.

Marik turned to Bakura. The spirit nodded. Marik took of the Millenium Ring and handed it to Ryou. The moment the metal left his fingertips, Bakura disappeared. Ryou slipped the string around his neck.

It stabbed at my heart a little to see Ryou being obedient to Bakura again, and after he had done such a bloody good job standing up to him!

"We have five minutes until he connects to you," Marik noted.

Ryou rolled his eyes. "I know how this works. I've been dealing with this longer than you knew he existed."

"Just stating the obvious."

"Well thank you tha-" Ryou started to say sarcastically. He cut himself off when suddenly noticed my silence and turned to me. But I was no longer next to him, so he looked around to look.

I was in front of the TV, messing with the remote and setting up the Wii there that I was sure Marik and Bakura stole and rarely actually used. Marik seemed more like the X-box type.

"Hey what the frig are you doing to our TV?!" Marik cried.

"Shut up. Getting you Neflix and a game for Ryou."

"What's on Neflix?" Marik asked at the same time Ryou asked, "What game?"

"Hetalia and Skylanders," I answered each hikari respectively. "Not sure if you play it Ryou..."

Ryou moved over to me so fast that I thought he would glomp _me_ and I screamed. "Are you kidding?! I love that game!"

Marik did the same and I screamed again. "Oh em gee! Hetalia on Neflix! Perfect for when Bakura is hogging the computer!"

"Show us now!"

I looked at them slightly scared because of the almost-glomp. (Glomping was still a fear of mine. I wasn't making up the bit about me being glomped by my cousin. It really did happen in real life!) But I nodded tentatively and asked, "Okay... Who first?"

"Me!"  
"Me!"

Oh dear...

"I have all 32 Skylanders!"

"You do know that there's a newer version of the game called Skylanders Giants, right? With about 24 new characters?"

As I talked, I set up the Wii. It was Marik's appartment, so he could set up Neflix at any time. On the other hand, I had no idea how long Ryou would be out, so I wanted him to have his fun as soon as possible before Bakura locked him in his soul room again.

"No! I didn't! My yami doesn't let me out long enough for me to know anything! I'm practically months behind times! I'm so last year. Literally! I _used_ to have all 32 but I don't know what happened to them..."

"I've never seen any figures for any of your games here, Ryou," Marik said. "Either he threw them all out when we moved in together or he keeps them hidden. Sorry."

Ryou's lip started trembling. Then it stopped and his eyes gained a sort of angry gleam. "Hate him," he mumbled under his breath.

"Ry," I said. "Calm down. I can totally bring them back for you, if you want."

I expected him to get excited again. But instead, he just held up a hand to stop me and shook his head slowly. "No, Aquailita. I am grateful that you would do it for me, but it isn't the same and it doesn't change the fact that Bakura has completely ruined any personal life I could have been living. Thank you, though."

I looked up at him sadly, my heart totally going out to him and pitying him. I understood what he was really saying to me: although I was the author of the story and could make literally _anything_ happen, a small part of Ryou didn't forgive me for how I had written the story so far and even in the previous story against his favor. He would rather have the storyline itself help him, and not my author's influence.

"I understand."

"Thank you." He smiled at me and I went back to setting up the game.

"You're welcome. By the way," I said when I finished setting the stuff up, "has it been five minutes yet?"

"Yes," a deep and accented voice suddenly said from next to me.

"AH HOLY FRIG!" I jumped and quickly scooted away gaol feet back from whoever was next to me. I narrowed my eyes when I saw who it was. Bakura had materialized next to me and scared me on purpose. "Dammit, Fluffy! You scared me!"

"Obviously. As payback and pre-venge. And don't call me 'Fluffy'." His sentences, respectively, were followed by an eye roll, a smirk, and a scowl.

"Okay, FLUFFY! Bloody frig-tard."

Bakura clawed at me with his claws and growled. I showed no reaction because he was in spirit form and couldn't acutally touch me. "If you really want to be scared, I can send you to the Shadow Realm."

"Yami...be nice. She's our fangirl, remember? And didn't you say that you love your fangirls?"

"Not her. She doesn't even like being a fangirl all that much. Do you?"

"I... shut the bugger up!"

"That's what I thought."

Suddenly, Bakura was gone and Ryou was in his place. Ryou blinked in confusion a few times, then turned to look at his body, which Bakura now had control of.

"And shut up, Ryou. No one asked you."

I looked at him and for the first time since chapter 3, I saw that his bunny ears were back up. (Obviously, he still had them in his spirit form. "But this is the first time that I see him in his _body_ with his bunny ears up. It kinda calls attention back to the title, don't you think?")

"Did you _have _to mention chapter three again?" Ryou asked me, cringing.

"Oh, frig!" I exclaimed as I covered my mouth with my hand. "Did I have quotation marks around that? Sorry, that was supposed to be a little AN! Sorry, Ry!"

"I forgive you."

"So...now what?" Marik asked, looking between me and the two Bakuras.

"Bakura, what did you do with Ryou's Skylander stuff?" I asked.

Bakura's eyes widened for a moment. "I uh... I..."

"You threw them all out, didn't you?!" Ryou accused.

"Well um... No, actually. I kept it. All of your crap, I kept."

"R-really? You honestly kept my stuff?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"No comment."

"But I want to know-"

"I said no comment!"

"Fine... Gosh..."

"So where is it?" I asked.

"It's-"

"Wait I got it nevermind!"

I raced to Bakura's room and slammed the door closed. Bakura heard the slam. "Hey! What the bloody hell are you doing in there?!"

Ryou sensed that he was about to run after me, so while Bakura wasn't paying attention, he switched out so that Bakura wouldn't try to hurt me or anything. Bakura didn't even notice. He came racing (floating?) after me. He figured that I had locked the door when he tried the doorknob and it didn't turn. I was out before he had the chance to try to break down the door.

I opened the door with the power of authoressness and took a step outside with an armful of Skylander stuff. "I fo-" I took one look at Bakura and raised an eyebrow. "You _do_ know that I didn't lock the door, right?" I asked him.

"What? Seriously?! Then how come I couldn't-"

"Because you're in spirit form...for some reason. You could have just floated though the door, or even the walls, for that matter!"

Bakura's eyes widened. Then he facepalmed. "Ugh. Why does..." He floated back to the living room. I followed.

"Ry Ry, I found the stuffs! It was in... Well I'd rather not spoil it."

"Set it up! Quick!"

"Why quick?"

"So I don't hurt you or the Skylanders."

Ryou is non-violent, so when he says he's going to hurt someone, he means it. So I took that as a threat and set everything up quickly. Within a minute, all 32 Skylanders were grouped by element, the Portal of Power was set up, and the game was on the main menu. But apparently it wasn't a threat; it was him being precautionary.

Once my hands were totally free, Ryou raced over to me and sat next to me on the floor and hugged me tightly.

"Thank you so much, Aquailita!"

I gasped loudly and held back a squeal.

"Eee..." was all I let out, in a whisper; before hugging back. My closed my eyes and they turned into those arrow thingies that the site doesn't let you put into reviews or documents, while my mouth turned into one big sideways D. So basically, I looked literally like this: XD

Suddenly, the Ryou's hair that touched my face suddenly felt ten times softer and fluffier. Ryou's arms seemed to shift a bit. I don't know how I could tell, but I could tell that something had changed. I was about to push him away to see what was wrong, but Bakura beat me to it.

He violently shoved me away and yelled, "HOW THE BLOODY HELL DID I END UP HUGGING YOU?!"

I only hit the couch so I didn't need to recover. "I don't know! But omg Baku your hair is ten times softer than Ryou's!"

"Ryou why the bugger did you switch me out! I don't want to hug her!"

"Trying to teach you some compassion you evil wanker! And don't forget that the three of us are supposed to love our fangirls! And right now you're just hating her! Come on! I don't like all of my fangirls but at least I have the decency to pretend that I do in front of them."

"Three? But there's only two of us."

"There are three Bakuras."

"Oh right. And you...! You have too much decency to..."

"To... what?"

"I-I...don't remember..."

For some reason, Bakura looked at me and started staring hard at me. "WHAT?!"

"Aquailita..."

"What?" I asked as I stood up.

"What did you do?"

"I didn't- okay you got me. I forgot what you were supposed to say next. Aheheheh... Gomen'na-"

"I don't want your apologies."

"Then what _do_ you want?"

"You to leave so this story can run it's normal course."

"And leave Ryou alone with you two! Not a chance!"

"But-"

"No buts! Bakura, let Ryou play the Skylanders game. Marik, you can do whatever you want in your room, and I'll help you set up Neflix later to watch Hetalia on the TV. Ryou, you let Bakura have control of your body for some time. In this story, he _still_ does have control over your body at least 90% of the time."

"NO!" all three of them shouted at me.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" I held up my hands and took a few steps back. "You guys aren't asking me to make you all happy just because I have the power to, are you? I won't do that! That's just breaking too many rules. I'm fine with helping out, but I'm not going to do everything for everyone. It messes up with the original story flow way too much. Didn't you all want me to let the story go back to normal?"

"Well... True," Bakura admitted.

"Exactly! I wasn't even supposed to be here, when I first started writing this. Isn't that what you've been saying all along."

"You're such a hypocrite!" Bakura accused.

"So are you! Shut up!" I shot back.

"I don't even remember how this story was going to go!"

"Neither do I!"

"Fix that!"

"I don't know how anymore!"

"You know what I think?"

Everyone turned to Marik. "WHAT?!" we shouted, all tense from arguing.

Unfazed, he continued. "I think, that since the Fourth Wall is already completely broken and she's not going back through it anytime soon, I say fuck it and let's just do whatever. That's pretty much what's become of this fanfic. Right?"

The three of us exchanged glances and nodded. He was right. That is what it had become.

"Maybe... I should change the summary?" I wondered aloud.

"Probably. Him," he pointed to Ryou, "accidentally being let out isn't even the plot anymore. You are."

"Yay I'm a plot. Bloody frigging super special awesome."

"Hey wait!" Bakura suddenly shouted. "I just realized something! What happened to that sound effect Marik has? To be honest I actually liked that sound effect..." He turned to me.

I shrugged. "Eh. Decided to stop using it. But that's not the point! The point is that Marik is right so-"

"Not so fast!" Marik cut me off. "I want something from you first!"

"What?"

"A bribe. You can stay only if you give all three of us something that will convince us to like you a bit more and tolerate your annoying fangirly presence!"

"What- I- but uh!" I stuttered. Like I had said, I really didn't want to screw with things more than they already were. I just kinda wanted to exist there to keep Ryou company and protect him from the two evil people he would be forced to live with if he was allowed to interact with the world. But Ryou didn't really need anything from me to want me to stay, because I'm totally already on his good side so...

"I actualy wouldn't mind her staying..." he mumbled.

"Shut up, host."

"But I also wouldn't mind being bribed."

"Oh my gosh, Ryou you too?!"

"Yes. Now that I think about it, I want something from you as well."

"Well... I..." Now that Ryou also wanted something, I felt compelled to do it. "But I just said that I can't just do that for...Ugh fine!" I threw my hands up and walked to the center of the room.

I looked at all three of them in turn. Then I smirked. "I know exactly what all of you would like... Stand in a triangle around me."

Somehow sensing that I was going to actually do something useful, they complied. They stood in a triangle, each of them a few steps away from me.

I suddenly pointed at the ceiling. I felt my Author's Power surging through me and shit like that, then I pointed dramatically at Ryou, who was right in front of me.

He flinched at the sudden movement, then his eyes widened when he noticed something weird and staticy going on with his shirt.

Then I pointed diagonally behind me, at Marik, with my other hand. He gave me a strange look, probably for my dramatics, and casually looked down. He, too, noticed something staticy and weird going on with his shirt. _I swear to Mega Ultra Chicken if she's making me wear something that doesn't expose my midriff I'm going to kick her out of here if, author or not. _No one_ forces Marik Sebastian Ishtar III to wear something that hides his sexiness and gets away with it!_

I rolled my eyes and moved on. I brought both of my hands together, formed a gun with my fingers, and pointed in the most dramaticest-est-nessiest way of all at Bakura with it.

He rolled his eyes at my idiocy and looked down, expecting to see his shirt going staticy. But he wasn't getting a shirt! He was getting two things. Two staticy items appeared hin his hands.

I lowered my hands and the static around everything cleared. Everyone saw what I had given them.

"OMG I FREAKING LOVE THIS SHIRT!" Marik and, surprisingly, Ryou exclaimed.  
Ryou was wearing a Skylanders T-shirt now, like one I had seen in a store once.  
Marik was wearing the same Hetalia shirt I wore, except in his size, it was tight, and it was cut off at the miriff.  
I changed the shirt I was wearing to a differet Hetalia shirt so we wouldn't have to be matching.

"What the...Oh... Yeeeeessss!" Bakura said. "This is _definitely_ going to be worth your annoying prescense in the long run!"  
Him, I had given some random APC***** albums and a Happy Tree Friends DVD with three seasons on it.

Ryou stopped fanboying over his shirt and looked over at Bakura's stuff. Specifically the DVD. "You like that kind of thing?" he asked with quizzical look. "I never would have-"

Bakura's laugh cut him off. His eyes were glued to the cover. "That's what everyone who doesn't know the show thinks. It's not some cartoon for kids. It's actually pretty gorey. I watch it because I like all the blood. And also, living with Marik has, unfortunately, made me less hesitant to watch cartoons and anime and animated stuff."

"Right... I forgot how much you like blood..."

"Yesss..."

"OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! Alfred is on my shirt! And so is England! This is the best day ever!"

Bakura tore his eyes away from his stuff to look at Marik. He smirked and raised an eyebrow. "USUK?"

Marik met his gaze and did the same. "And EngGypt."

They grinned at each other for a few seconds.

Ryou and I looked back and forth between them, waiting for someone to move.

When no one did, I couldn't take it anymore so I shouted, "OMG STOP HAVING SEX WITH YOUR EYES GET A ROOM YOU TWO!"

They both glared at me, and I shrank back a bit under their stares.

"Maybe we should!" They said at the same time. They walked over to each other and put an arm around the other's waist.

"We'll be in my room," Bakura said.

"Ryou, you can play if you want," Marik said. "I'll watch Hetalia later. But WHO FRIGIN CAREZ CUZ I CAN HAZ TEH SHURTZ WIHT TEH SEXEENEZZZZZZZ!111uno11!exclamationpoint!"

They walked away together to Bakura's room, to do Ra-knows-what. (Even I don't know!)

We watched them leave until the hallway blocked them from our sight.

Then, Ryou decided to point out, after we already herad the door close, "How am I supposed to play if I don't have a physical form?!"

"Don't worry! I can...well...play for you. Or you can watch me play..." I sat down in front of the Portal of Power and put Cynder on it. "And you can also tell me about some of them."

"I can do that. It's better than sitting around and doing nothing while waiting for my turn for body-control-time." He took a seat next to me.

"Good!" The game finished starting up. "Now, I've never had Cynder, so how does she..."

* * *

*******Stands for A Perfect Circle. APC is an abreviation, not the name of the group.**

******So now Ryou is occupied with me and the Skylanders, while Marik and Bakura are occupied in Bakura's room doing...something. Everyone is happy and busy and content. Nothing should really happen next chapter.  
Everything is perfectly calm in this place.  
********OR _IS_ IT?!  
********NO ONE HAS ATTACKED ME YET! FINGERS CROSSED! Especially for next chapter!**

******I made up Bakura's fandoms because I thought they would suit him. Like I said, because of the blood. And for the meaning behind the music *cough*tender*cough*shipping*cough*.**

******Now...Two readers of this are anxious for two things. I know that one of you is anxious for a certain chapter to come out, while the other wants to see a certain scene. To the first of you, that chapter will happen MUCH later and MANY more chapters from now, so be patient. As for the second person, you might not be getting exactly what you want. Other people most likely noticed me saying that it will be here, and are anxious for the same thing. But be warned, remember how I lead you on in ICaBBE(oBW)? That might happen again. WHO KNOWS!**

******Next chapter is where I put in a- well you'll see when we get there! tee hee hee! Trust me! You'll like it! *trololo face***

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	8. Lemon?

**OOOOOOHHHH! What is everyone going to do now?! **

**Warning: Contains yaoi, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, many lemons, Soup, explosives, Pokémon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, A Perfect Circle, Happy Tree Friends, Pokémon, any of their characters, any tea-making skills, or the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

_~In Bakura's bed...~_

"Wow. How much blood does she have?"

"Don't start that. I'm trying to watch."

They were in Bakura's room, on his bed, watching the DVD on Marik's laptop that Marik had left there two days ago and forgotten to take back. (Like a lazy-ass.)

"But they're not even saying anything! They're just making noises and screaming."

"I'm trying to hear their screams. That's my favorite part. Aside from the blood." Bakura gave him a very creepy and wide smile, then went back to watching.

"...You're weird."

"So are you."

"You're British!"

"And you're gay."

"So are you!"

"You're a wanker."

"So are you!"

"I am not!"

"You are!"

"Do you even know what that word means?"

"Of course I do! It's someone who's a jerk. In my dictionary, the equivalent of a frig-tard."

"Do you know the _other_ meaning of it?"

"There's no other meaning for it!"

"Then clearly my filtering has worked."

"What?"

"You checked that 'Best of British Slang' site, didn't you?"

"How would you know that?!"

"Because I blocked some of the word definitions from only that site. Had you gone to any other site, you would have been able to see the full meaning."

"How the frig would you be able to do that?! How would you even KNOW how to do such a thing? Where did you learn-"

"I know how to do _some_ things with technology. Give me some credit, Marik. I may have existed in this century for less time than you have, but I'm smart enough to figure things out. How do you think I knew how to delete your Internet history in Curls and Bunny Ears?"

"Oh yes..._thar_ chapter."

"Yes. That chapter."

Bakura put his arm around Marik's waist again as Flippy killed yet another character.

"You know..." Marik said after a few moments, "Flippy re-"

"DON'T! DO _NOT_ FINISH THAT SENTENCE!"

"But I wasn't-"

"I know _exactly_ what you were going to say about Flippy. And I don't want you to say it. Wouldn't want to give the readers any ideas, do we?"

"Why would...oh. Oh. OHHHH... Right."

"And besides..." he shuddered a bit. "I think she's already doing something like that."

"Who? Aquailita?" Bakura nodded. "Why? And why would you care? Are you in it?"

"Why would I be in it? What would that do?"

"I have no idea. But you know, any ideas that I might have given them, someone already probably has."

"I don't care."

"I love it when you say that!" Marik exclaimed with a slight giggle. "It really brings out that sexy accent of yours. Keep talking, Bakura."

"No. I'm trying to watch."

Bakura pushed him away a bit and slid over an inch or two. He turned his attention to the laptop screen again and neither of them spoke until the end of the episode.

"Oh, Marik!" Bakura said when it was over. "I just thought of something. What was your good idea you had when you were talking earlier?"

Marik smiled. "You remember that, huh?"

"Yes. So explain yourself."

"We are going to give Aquailita exactly what she wants!"

"And what is that?"

Marik smirked very evilly and said, "A LEMON!"

Bakura's eyes widened. He didn't have time to react any further before Marik grabbed his arm, pulled him close, and started moving his mouth towards Bakura's ear.

* * *

_~In the living room~_

Suddenly, something hit me on the side of my head. I didn't need to pause the game to avoid messing up because I was in the ruins. "What the frig?!" I cried as I looked around on the floor for what had been thrown at me. I spotted it about three feet away, so I stood up and walked over to it.

"What happened, Aqua?" Ryou asked in concern.

I picked it up, looked at it, then held it up for Ryou to see.

"This," I said.

"Someone threw a freaking yellow fruit at me!"

* * *

******I cut it short because the next one is _REALLY_ long!**

******Yup. The lemon you are going to get is a yellow citrus fruit. I _did_ lead you on.  
Or did I, really?  
(BTW, Marik wasn't biting Bakura's ear. He was just whispering a secret to him in his ear.)**

******AND SO THEY HAVE FINALLY STRUCK BACK AT ME! IM UNDER ATTACK! HELP! But do I really need help? Find out next chapter!**

******By the way, there were no lemons in this chapter. There will be lemons in the next chapter. Unfortunately, no one will make lemonade. Or orange juice. Because I know some people like to make orange juice when life gives them lemons. Not me. (lol, wtf?)**

******TWO CHAPTERS THIS WEEK!**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	9. LEMONS! And Bunny Ears

**LLOLOLOLOLOL!  
And so it begins! They have decided to attack! What will happen now!?**

**But seriously, there weren't ANY lemons in the previous chapter! But there are PLENTY of lemons in this chapter! You'll see what I mean...  
This chapter will be long. It starts off where the last one left off, but just moments before the fruit is actually thrown.**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, *many lemons*, Soup, explosives, Pokémon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, A Perfect Circle, Happy Tree Friends, Pokémon, any of their characters, any tea-making skills, or the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

_~In the living room~_

I sat on the floor, leaning on the couch, with the Wii remote and nunchuck in my hands, the Portal of Power in front of me with Stealth Elf on it, and Ryou sitting next to me watching me play. If only Bakura would give him the body-control time to play the game...

Suddenly, something hit me on the side of my head. I didn't need to pause the game to avoid messing up because I was in the ruins, so I left the game on and turned to look at what had hit me. "What the frig?!" I cried as I looked around on the floor for what had been thrown at me. I spotted it about three feet away, so I stood up and walked over to it.

"What happened, Aqua?" Ryou asked in concern.

I picked it up, looked at it, then held up the hard-peeled object for Ryou to see. "This. Someone threw a freaking yellow fruit at me!"

"Well there are only two other people here so it's safe to say that it was either Marik or Bakura."

"Or both. Probably both. Why would they throw a banana at me?"

"I don't know. Let's get back to playing?"

I looked at the banana, shrugged, unpeeled and started eating it, and nodded. "Yeah. Let's. If they're going to throw food at me and expect me to do something about it other than eat the food, they are mistaken."

I sat back down and continued playing.

However, a few seconds later, food hit the side of my head again. Another banana. This one had words on it: "WRONG FRUIT. SORRY."

I looked to the hallway. No one was there. I decided not to use my author's power to spy on whatever prank Marik and Bakura were about to fully unleash on me, and went back to playing. "Ignore them, Ryou."

"I don't think we will be able to..." he started to say.

"Nope! Ignore. Look at this combo. I bought this path and I freaking _love_ when Stealth Elf does this! It's so convenient for breaking a lot of stuff at once."

I pressed the buttons and showed him the combo thing. His eyes widened in amazement. "That's just smashing!"

"Literally!"

"Indeed! I bought the other path for her. The one with the decoys."

"Meh. Tried that one. I prefer this one. She's more like a ninja. And... Well I'd like to see her and Bakura face off."

I snapped my fingers and my eyes lit up. "Oh my gosh that gives me an-"

"Don't," Ryou said quickly to cut me off. "Control yourself. One story at a time."

I nodded and put my hand down. I took my last bite of the banana. "Right. Thanks for stopping me. That was a close one!"

I with both hands now free, I was able to freely go into a chapter to try out Stealth Elf's newly bought abilities. I used Stealth Elf, Hex, Spyro, and, on Ryou's recommendation which proved to be invaluable, Flameslinger.

At the moment, I was fighting a large group of enemies using Stealth Elf. I was just about to use the combo to save my ass by defeating an enemy.

But then, something ruined it.

Something came flying over and hit Hex. It somehow knocked the figurine from where it was near the Portal _on_to the Portal. She pushed Stealth Elf out of the way and landed on her side. The Portal registered Hex's presence, the intro sequence for her started up, and her name appeared on the screen.

"No!" She only had barely any health left! "I was going to save her for when I could give her health again!"

I didn't have time to pause. The enemy hit her and she was taken out of the game. The screen said that the Skylander needed rest.

"That is _it_!"

I looked at the projectile. It was a yellow fruit with a hard peel. But this time, it wasn't a banana.

It was a lemon.

"What the bloody..." I murmured. I picked it up and examined it.

Ryou stood up and looked over my shoulder to see what it was. Then he turned his gaze to the hallway. "A lemon? What the bloody hell?"

"I know right..." Then I noticed something. In permanent marker, in capital letters, was the name "MARIK".

"Why the..."

I noticed another one in my field of vision fly past me, just barely missing my head.

I whipped around to look at it, but Ryou had already beaten me to it.

As I stood up, Ryou told me what was on it. "This one has a heart and an X on it. What does that mean?"

I turned back to the hallway, then looked at the lemon in my hands. "No freaking clue..."

"Look out!"

I looked up just in time to see a hand disappear from around the corner and another yellow object fly at me. I dodged.

The lemon bounced on the floor once, then rolled over to the Portal. It stopped and the name "BAKURA" was visible on it.

"Why do they keep throwing these at us?!"

"At _me_!" I corrected. "They can't even hit you! Don't complain!"

"I am pretty sure that if I _did_ have my own body at the moment, they would be throwing the fruit at me, as well!"

I turned to him, glanced at the game, then sat down and started fixing it. I took Hex off the portal, put Stealth Elf in her place, and paused it as soon as the game started back up.

Before I could stand back up, something hit me! No doubt another lemon.

I turned around to look at it.

This time, it had TWO words on it. On one side, in the same handwriting that "MARIK" had been written in, the word "THIEF" was written. On the other side, in the same handwriting as "BAKURA", was the word "SHIPPING".

"Oh my... Aquailita..." Ryou's voice was full of concern and worry. And also knowing. "I think I know what they are trying to do."

"What's that?"

"They are giving you exactly what you want. And by extension, the reviewers."

"You kidding me?! I don't want this! And I'm pretty sure the people reading this don't want this happening to me."

"Don't be so sure. And it _is_ what you are asking for. Don't you see? The words 'THIEF' and 'SHIPPING' written on a lemon..."

I tilted my head to the side and gave him a confused look.

"Thiefshipping _LEMON_!"

My eyes widened as I realized, "By the gods, you're right! That is so clever!" I burst out laughing.

"I wouldn't be laughing if I were you..." came a voice from the hallway.

"Bakura!"

I turned to the hallway again. This time, I saw Marik and Bakura's heads peeking out from behind the corner, Bakura's head above Marik's. They each had a lemon in their hands. On the lemons, I could see very simple stick figure pictures of thiefshipping. It was obvious that the person holding each lemon had drawn the picture on it. Marik's was him and Bakura holding hands, while Bakura's was him and Marik kissing and Marik's hands around Bakura's waist.

Although it looked like Bakura was the one enjoying this the most, it was clear that Marik had thought of it.

They were giving me literal thiefshipping lemons.

I waved my hands at them and started backing up. "No no no no no! You don't understand! I don't actually want any lemons! Bananas are fine. They're tasty. And besides, I don't actually like reading thiefshipping lemons! You may think other wise but I-"

"Liar," Marik interrupted.

"I forced myself to write this! I don't write and rarely read-"

"I don't care," Bakura said. "Fire!"

They both jumped out of the hallway and started throwing lemons at me. More simple stick figure thiefshipping pictures were drawn on them in thin permanent marker.

I dodged a few of them, some of them missed me, the rest hit me. I held up my arms to deflect them from my face. Didn't protect my legs, though, and eventually I ended up on the floor again, slowly backing against the wall underneath the window.

"AUGH STOP STOP STOP!" I shouted, still a bit giggly about the pictures drawn on some of them and the literal lemon joke. "Come on guys stop this man cut it out I don't want this cut it out!"

"WE ARE GIVING YOU LEMONS!"

"NUUUUUUUUUUU!"

**(AN: lol asdf movie reference.)**

"Bakura! Marik!" Ryou shouted defensively. "Stop this at once! You're hurting her! This is extremely unnecessary!"

Actually, I wasn't being hurt that much. I grabbed a pillow from the couch and tried deflecting some of the lemons. But the concern in his voice was just so cute! He was worried about me! My heart melted and I didn't dare reassure him that I would be fine, lest he stop worrying adorably!

The lemons kept coming. Why did they have so many?

Two minutes later, they finally ran out.

I took the opportunity to put the pillow down to catch my breath. I reached for a lemon and looked at the picture on it. Marik was shirtless and had his fingers tangled in Bakura's hair, and Bakura was licking his neck while his hands were on Marik's butt. I squealed in my head. It looked like Bakura had drawn it. I was so engrossed in the picture that I didn't notice Marik and Bakura using the Rod and Ring to make the lemons magically float back over to them so they could re-load their ammo.

I heard a thud at the same time as the lemon I held was ripped from my hands. I saw them with armfuls of lemons again and shouted in a British accent almost as good as my tea-induced one: "Oh bollocks I am so screwed."

"Couldn't have said it better myself," Bakura said just before throwing a lemon.

I managed to blurt out, "But you could have cuz you're British and have a better acc-" before the lemon hit me in the arm.

Before, I realized, Bakura was just toying with me. If it weren't for Marik throwing some of them, every single lemon that he wanted to hit me _would_ have hit me. Now, he was actually throwing them straight at me.

I could see that Ryou was trying to hold Bakura back, but his intangible arms went right through Bakura's tangible form.

"Stop trying, Ryou. It won't work."

"Yami! Leave her alone! Please! She didn't do anything to you!"

"Actually, she did. Several things. And don't act like you wouldn't do this as well if you had the chance! I know you don't completely forgive her. So stop trying to defend her! And we're not doing this just to torture her. We're trying to test out this method so that we can some day use it..."

"...against the Pharaoh!" Marik finished.

Ryou actually looked like he was considering this. Then he turned to me. "Keep at it! Give that tosser what she deserves!"

I was horrified. And my face showed it. "Ryou! How could you!" I cried in fear. Not for myself, but for Ryou and his susceptibility to his dark side's will. How did Bakura turn Ryou against me in three sentences when it took me a whole chapter to calm him down about what Bakura let happen to him?! "I thought..."

"Shut up and eat these lemons!" Marik shouted as he threw another.

"CHIGIIII!" I screamed. It felt good to outburst in something from Hetalia rather than from Yu-Gi-Oh for once. The look in Marik's eyes (that was gone quickly) indicated that he knew where I had gotten it from.

I picked up a lemon and as soon as the one Marik had just thrown missed me, I threw one back at him. "Dammit go away go away go away!" I closed my eyes and shook my head and cried like I was Russia being scared by Belarus.

I heard a surprised grunt and opened my eyes in time to see that Marik had dropped his lemons and was staring at one on the floor and had one hand over his stomach.

He looked up at me, eyes wide almost saying to me "did you seriously just..."

My eyes replied "i believe i did".

Everything was still. Even Bakura. We held our breaths to see what would happen next and how both of us would react.

"OMG BAKURA SHE HAS GOOD AIM SHE HIT MY MIDRIFF SHE'S A PSYCHOPATHIC FANGIRL SAVE ME FLUFFY!" Marik jumped behind Bakura and onto his back. The Brit grunted as Marik's legs wrapped around his torso and his arms hugged Bakura's shoulders tightly. "Then he said in a medieval dialect: Annihilate that wench for this friggidethly atrocious act that she hath committedeth against me!"

At the same time as he got on Bakura's back, I went on the offensive. I grabbed the pillow again and grasped it tightly by the back of it and held it in front of me like a shield with my right hand. With my left hand, I picked three lemons off the floor and threw them at the couple. Ryou saw the fire in my eyes and despite his physical invulnerability, he backed away from his yami and moved off to the side.

I give him a physical presence for a few seconds and make him aware of it so that he has just enough time to get the Portal of Power and Skylanders away from the battle field. Then he loses his physical-ness and forgets that he even had it.

While I'm using my Author's Power to my advantage, I create an arm strap for the pillow so that I could _really_ use it as a shield and keep my hands available.

Bakura and I continued to throw lemons at each other. Bakura is totally a boss so he was able to throw perfectly even with Marik on his back and with one hand while the other twisted backwards to hold his sexy Egyptian boyfriend against him. Even with all of that, he still had perfect aim.

But so did I. As long as the distance wasn't _too_ far, I had pretty good aim. Bakura was close enough that I would have hit him every single time if he didn't keep dodging!

Ryou just stood off to the side, watching the battle with his hand over his mouth and his face horrified and scared.

Finally, we all spoke.

"Back the frig off, Fluffy! I'm your fangirl you can't do this to me!"

"Bakura! Aquailita! Please stop fighting! You'll end up hurting each other or breaking something!" Surprisingly, we hadn't broken anything. Yet.

"Shut up! I never thought one of my fangirls could make me hate them so much! But here we are...!"

"Kill her, Fluffy! Show her what you're made of!"

When Marik spoke, he moved his hands from Bakura's shoulders to Bakura's head and he flattened Bakura's hair down a bit so he could see above the fluffy white mess.

Bakura, not liking when people touched his hair, growled at Marik. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to see over your hair! Keep fighting!"

"What am I, your slave? I'm not one of your Steves."

"No. But you want to kill her anyway."

"True."

"Also, you are my bitch."

"Shut up."

The battle continued.

He threw and dodged while I tossed and deflected. All the while, I kept having to bend down to pick up more lemons while Bakura simply retrieved them with the Millenium Ring. Marik had dropped the Rod ages ago and it had probably rolled into the hallway.

In the midst of our battle, Marik tensed up and stuff and tried to get a better view. His chin was resting on Bakura's head. At a near-fatal throw that Bakura had just made, which had almost hit me in the face and could have possibly broken my nose and/or knocked me out at the speed he threw it at, he tensed up and tugged Bakura's hair involuntarily.

Bakura's eyes widened for an instant and flinched, then gasped briefly before he closed them and carelessly threw a lemon at me. It missed by like a foot! Which is a lot to miss by for the former Thief King. "Marik stop that. Don't do that to my hair."

"Sorry! This is just so intense and I have such a good view! And I'm not hurting you so relax."

"Ggrrmm..."

We continued our lemon war. Neither of us was letting up. Neither of us had accidentally picked up a banana yet. Surprisingly, we _still _somehow hadn't broken anything yet!

I noticed that Bakura's face started taking on a pained and strained look. Like he was trying really hard to hold something back but it was almost painful to do so. I wondered what could be wrong with him. It seemed like it was also painful to keep his face expressionless and he was obviously failing to do so. But I ignored his expression and kept fighting. A moment ago I was on the defensive, but once that face showed up I had gone offensive. Bakura didn't dodge every time and instead he held up the Millenium Ring as a shield sort of like how I was using the pillow.

At one point, I couldn't help but pause to look at one of the images drawn on the lemons. The one I held was one I hadn't looked at closely yet, and it was one of Bakura's. It was styled after a picture I had seen once of Marik and Bakura cuddling together as kittens with Marik lying playfully (or sexually?) on top of Bakura.

I giggled and shouted "KAWAII DESU NE!"

Bakura stopped his assault to give me a strange look. I used this opportunity to regain my senses and throw the lemon at him.

Only, it nearly hit Marik in the head. He dodged it by leaning to the side. When he righted himself, he tugged on the portion of Bakura's hair he clutched and he stared at me with wide and surprised eyes. "Holy frig that was close! What is wrong with you?!"

"Sorry I-" I cut myself off when I noticed something wrong with Bakura. His expression was just so full of pain! Oh my Ra! He just looked like he was hurting or something. He was breathing a bit harder than he was a few minutes ago. Now I was a bit concerned.

I was about to ask what was wrong, but my arm was still in motion and I threw a banana at him.

Then I asked, "Bakura-kun... What's wrong?"

He closed his eyes and shouted "_STOP_!"

Everything froze. Me, Ryou, Bakura, Marik. Even the banana froze in midair. When it fell to the ground, things started back up again.

"Stop what?" Marik asked.

Without opening his eyes, Bakura replied, "You. Stop it. Now."

"Stop what?" Marik asked again, innocently.

Bakura dropped the lemon he was holding and groaned. "Let go of my hair. You're m-making me...you're pulling on it and it hurts. Stop it."

By now, I had dropped my shield and fruits and Ryou was sitting on the floor with the Skylanders around him. We were watching them closely, wondering what was going on and what was wrong with Bakura.

"Oh come now, Bakura. How many times have you told me how used to pain you are and how you can handle it? I'm not pulling that hard!"

As an example, Marik actually _did_ tug on his hair. He held up the two sections of hair that he grasped and pulled down hard. "_That's_ pulling it hard. Which is not what I was doing!"

When Marik pulled his hair, Bakura groaned again and started breathing a bit harder. His knees went a bit weak and he seemed to be struggling to hold Marik up. Which is ridiculous because we knew how easily he gave Marik piggy-back rides, really emphasizing the fact that there was definitely something wrong with him. He staggered a few steps closer to the couch and a few steps closer to me as well because I was next to it, I backed up, thinking he might have been resuming our fight and about to attack me. Which seemed unlikely given the mood in the room at that moment.

"Uuuhh! Marik! Stop that! P-please! Just stop. Let go of my hair now!"

"Why?"

Bakura started trembling.

"D-d-don't you...realize wh-what you..."

"Bakura...you're scaring me! What's wrong with you?!" Marik tilted Bakura's head to the side and lowered his head so it was next to Bakura's. In the process, he tugged his hair a bit more.

Bakura groaned again. Actually... That groan...sounded more like a moan.

Then I saw it. I saw what Marik was_ really_ doing to him! "Uh... Marik, you're..." I said quietly.

But Bakura beat me to it. "M-marik I'm going to attack you if you don't stop."

"Why?"

"Oh my Ra, Marik! How unobservant are you?! Let go of my bat wings _please_!"

It was out.

Marik blinked for a moment and looked down. He realized that he _was_ pulling on Bakura's batwings/bunnyears. "OOOHHHH... I'm sorry." He quickly let go.

But it was too late. Bakura's had enough and we all could have predicted what was happening next. He was standing right next to the arm of the couch and he turned around and leaned back rapidly, throwing Marik on it.

Before Marik had time to recover, Bakura turned around and-I have no other words for it- glomped Marik.

I screamed in surprise and fell to the floor, scurried away from them, and ended up backing away into the wall beneath the window. (The couch was between the hallway and the wall with a window.) I sat there wondering...I don't even know what.

Marik was the only one in any position to see Bakura's face, hungry and full of lust. An instant later their lips were locked and a moment later Bakura's hands were roaming over every inch of Marik that wasn't pressed between them or wasn't up against the couch cushions. That pretty much included his hips, arms, face, and neck.

I will say this in the mildest terms possible for Aquailita at this point, if Marik's legs hadn't been wrapped around Bakura's torso a few seconds ago, we probably would have totally noticed that Bakura had had a boner. OKAY THERE! I SAID IT I SAID IT! I SAID IT AND I CANT BELIEVE I WAS ABLE TO SAY THAT! **(lolz im dying now as im typing this.)**

So with that being said, let's switch POV's for a chapter or two...

* * *

******OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!**

******The reason for this chapter is to remind you that this is a sequel/companion to Italian Curls and BRITISH BUNNY EARS (or Bat Wings). Because this wouldn't be that story without Bakura getting...you know...by Marik pulling his bunny ears! (^7^)!**

******THE SEXINESS CONTINUES NEXT WEEK! AND NEXT CHAPTER! SOOOO...**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	10. Florence the Faker?

******I LIED I LIED I LIED I LIED I LIEEEEEDDDD!  
********You're welcome for the early chapter update! That's THREE in one week. You're welcome!  
The chapter title I had before, Too Early In The AM To Think Of A Title, referrs to the fact that it's too early in the morning to think of a proper chapter title (9:34AM, where I am). I wanted to get this chapter out AEAP because randomgirl40 is going on a trip and I wanted her to see this before she leaves! ~(^3^)/ have a nice trip! I obviously changed it.**

**OMG THIEFSHIPPING SEXINESS!1!1!1!11!ASDFSDD!1UNO!1!NUMEROONE!LOL!  
****So yes, Marik was accidentally pulling on Bakura's batwings. And we AAAALLLLLLLLL know what that does to our favorite hair-sensitive kitty-cat! (^3^) lol****  
****I hope you weren't surprised by that TOO much. If you had read Italian Curls and British Bunny Ears (or Bat Wings) like I told you to, you would have seen that coming the moment Marik even TOUCHED Bakura's hair.**

******Baku gets a bit embarrassed in this chapter, though...You'll see...**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, sexiness, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, many lemons, Soup, explosives, Pokémon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, Skylanders Giants, A Perfect Circle, Happy Tree Friends, Pokémon, any of their characters, any tea-making skills, or the British language.  
(I do, however, have several lemons in my fridge right now. The fruit kind.)_

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Marik regretted having absent-mindedly pulled on Bakura's batwings. He was all for this, but it was an inappropriate time and setting. Not only were there people watching, but those two people were Bakura's host-guy and Bakura's (and Ryou's) fangirl! It was _really_ not a good time and he actually _cared_ about Ryou's sanity and didn't want to scar the boy any more than he already had. But if anything, he could blame Bakura. Unless Bakura blamed him for pulling his hair and driving him to that state. Which he probably would do. Bakura managed to find a _small_ justification for why he was to blame last time and would do so again to keep himself free of guilt.

Of course, he only wanted Bakura to stop so that they could continue this in a more appropriate place (one of their rooms), but he was enjoying what Bakura was doing way too much to ruin it so they could move. So he just lay there and let Bakura do whatever and made sure his face gave off a look of total helplessness. The only part of his face that didn't give off the same message was his mouth. And his tongue.

Bakura's tongue forced its way past Marik's lips and teeth and started exploring. Marik let the warm and wet muscle embrace his own tongue.

Marik's arms certainly weren't working with his face, either, as he wrapped them around Bakura's torso and pulled him closer if that was even possible.

Bakura was definitely taking the initiative (even though Marik had brought it on), and if things didn't stop soon, both of them would be naked and Bakura would be making his partner submit to him. Sexually. And I wasn't really one of Seme!Bakura's biggest supporters.

"Aquailita!" Ryou shouted at me. "Stop them right now! Do something! You're the author!"

"I can't!" I responded without looking away. I blushed and said honestly, "I can't help it! I'm too mesmerized by the super-special-awesome sexiness of it! _You_ do something! You're his hikari! Can't you try to take over your body while he's distracted?!"

"I can't! I'm too...you know...about...three..."

I understood. Ryou was still too upset about chapters 3 and 4 to respond to this in any way that would put him in any sort of position near or touching Marik, _especially_ erotically.

But if someone didn't stop them, Ryou and I were going to be given a thiefshipping lemon. And not the fruit kind.

Lemons! That was the solution!

While still watching them, I felt around on the floor near me for a lemon. I grabbed one, transferred it to my other hand, then grabbed another one. I looked at them just long enough to see that they were ones drawn on by Marik, then I threw both of them in the thieves' general direction.

The first one hit Bakura's fluffy hair and bounced off. The second one almost hit Marik's face, but Bakura blocked it with one of his hands, which immediately went back to touching Marik after it had deflected the fruit.

"OH MY GOSH YOU TWO JUST STOP!" I shouted. "I DON'T WANT ANY LEMONS! SERIOUSLY, I ACTUALLY _DON'T_ JUST STOP!"

They paid me no mind.

"DON'T YOU REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO HAVE SEX IN THIS STORY ANYMORE BECAUSE OF CHAPTER 5?!"

No response.

After that, I just couldn't stand it anymore! I walked over to Ryou- who was frozen in place, probably due to inner traumatic turmoil- covered his eyes with my hand, helped him stand, and led his transparent form into the hallway and out of sight of the thiefshipping couple on the couch.

* * *

~•~

* * *

They continued making out, Bakura not giving Marik any room to breathe. Marik didn't mind, and simply let himself get lost in the moment.

Then, Bakura's fingers started tugging at the belt loops of Marik's pants.

And Marik finally snapped out of it.

His eyes opened and he moved his hands away from Bakura's hair (he didn't even realize his hands were there). You know where.

Without Marik's hands to stop him, Bakura's mouth moved from Marik's mouth to Marik's neck. Marik put his hands on Bakura's shoulders and couldn't help but let out a moan before composing himself to say, "Bakura. Stop. This isn't a good time for this. Too many witnesses and..." He moaned again when Bakura bit down on that sensitive spot on his neck. "S-seriously!" He tried pushing Bakura away but the spirit just held onto him and kept their bodies pressed together. Marik shivered and tried one more thing. Several, actually. He grabbed a fistful of Bakura's long white and totally tug-able hair and pulled back on it, pushed Bakura's shoulder with his other hand, and said, "Oh my Ra, Florence! If you don't stop I'm totally going to tell Aquailita that your email isn't florencexxx(a)hotmail,com anymore and I will let everyone know what you changed it to!"

Marik didn't know if what convinced Bakura was the name 'Florence', the thought of the fangirls knowing his email address again, his hair being pulled, or his shoulder being pushed, but a moment later Bakura's mouth suddenly detached from Marik's skin and he pushed himself off of him.

Eyes widened, faces flushed, and breathing heavily, the two lovers stared at each other from opposite sides of the couch.

Bakura's face was unreadable by the time Marik thought to examine it. "Don't mention my email change out loud!" he cried. He turned to where I had stood last and he smirked. "Oh. She's gone already. Mission accomplished."

Marik didn't hear that last sentence. "Bakura! Why?! What was that all about?!"

"Hm?" Bakura turned to him and his face was unreadable again.

"My Ra, I thought you had more self-control than that! In fact, I _know_ you have more self-control than that! Where did it go? Did I seriously have to call you 'Florence' and threaten to tell Aquailita your new email address just to get you to stop?"

Bakura took in Marik's angry and disbelieving expression and was glad that his next words would calm him down. "Of course I have more self-control than that! I knew what I was doing." Bakura moved over so that he sat next to Marik. Marik's feet were on the couch and his knees thankfully stood between the two of them. "Wanna do that for real?"

Marik hugged his legs and asked, "What do you mean by that? That was totally real! And no I do not!"

"Oh don't deny that you were enjoying that." Bakura reached over and gently ran a finger over the still-wet spot on Marik's neck that he had been biting. Marik shivered and batted the hand away. "And it wasn't real. I was faking it to drive away Aqua and Ryou. And it worked. So now that they're gone do you-"

Marik jumped to his feet and stared at Bakura in surprise. "You were faking it the whole time?!"

Bakura nodded once and smirked again. "Yup. The whole thing. Reaction and all. And it worked. It was just convenient to my plan that you happened to be pulling my hair. I'd congradulate you for playing along, but I know you weren't in on it."

"How did I not notice?! And why wouldn't you let me in on it?! This is crazy! I'm telling! Hey, Ryou and Aqua! Bakura was faking the whole thing to make you two leave the room!" Marik ran out of the room to tell me and Ryou the news. "That's just how evil Fluffy is..."

The moment Marik was gone, Bakura let out the groan he had been holding in and let show the blush he had held back. He put his feet on the floor, rested his elbows on his knees, and hurried his head in his hands. "How the fuck..." he murmured, hopefully too low for the hikaris and fangirl in the other room to hear. "I can't believe I lost it like that. I know I have more self-restraint than that! Was it because I was distracted with trying to destroy Aquail- no that's not it... Can't be... My Ra I don't even know!"

Bakura sat there, lifted his head, and just looked at the mess around him. Lemons (and two bananas) with thiefshipping doodles, Skylanders, and couch cushions littered the floor of the living room all the way to the entrance to the kitchen. For a brief moment, he considered cleaning up the mess so he could have an excuse to not face the rest of us. But then he remembered that he was Yami freaking Bakura and Yami Bakura doesn't need an excuse to isolate himself and also doesn't voluntarily do such tedious chores as cleaning a room.

So he just sat there.

He didn't know what possessed him to do so, but he cleared lemons from a spot on the floor, brought the Portal of Power and several of the Skylanders over to it, and sat down. He grabbed the Wii controllers, turned the Portal back on, un-paused the game, and started playing.

He finished the chapter for me, using only two Skylanders to do it. After hanging out in the Core of Light Ruins for a while, he decided that his favorite characters were Ghost Roaster, Cynder, Stealth Elf, Glumshanks, and Flynn.

The whole time he played, the thought about what had just happened. "I still don't even..."

_Well there's nothing to be done about it now. But now I'm restless. I'm not satisfied. I want to...do stuff with _**(lol he doesn't even want to give the readers the satisfaction of vocabulary)**_ my boyfriend and no matter what my hikari, the authoress, or any or my other fangirls say, I _will_ make it happen. She may control the story, but she doesn't control me!_

**Sorry to tell you this, Bakura...But your logic makes absolutely no sense.**

Sensing that this is a message from the real me, and not the insert me, Bakura replies, "I don't bloody care."

And with that, he paused the game, pushed everything aside, stood up, and headed straight for the hallway.

* * *

**OOOOOHHH! What's going on in the room! OOOOHHH I DON'T KNOWWWWWW! (lol yes I do! Because I'm in there! Duh!)  
Even though I, Aquailita, am the author of this story, for story purposes I had no idea that Bakura wasn't faking it. Okay the next chapter is set up...!**

**BTW a random shout-out to every single fan of this story and everyone who has reviewed so far. Especially randomgirl40, theabridgedkuriboh, and Dynamite and Soup. Also thanks to Rueky Ishtar, a fan of the original: ICaBBE(oBW)! GO READ THEIR FANFICS! The power of Marik's midriff and Bakura's bunny ears compel you to do so!  
And also a little FSA(Fanservice Story Announcement)! The story I keep mentioning being my help for Chapter 3 of this, A Scar Stamp and A Sexy Shipping, I separated the chappies into 4 chapters instead of 1 big chapter. And also, my so-called "yami" stopped procrastinating and she has finished writing the next chapter of that! If she doesn't procrastinate on editing, as well, that chapter should be up by the end of next week.**

**And here's a confession: I DO eventually leave the story (I un-insert myself). I only have 1 small little chapter planned and written for the time after that point (if you haven't deduced this already, I have all the chapters typed out on my iPod as usual and I'm simply editing and uploading them weekly). That means that at this point, I have NO idea how the story is going to turn out after I leave. But by the time that chapter actually comes out, I'll probably have figured something out.**

**Why do I ramble on and write such unnecessary crap in my EngingANs recently?**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	11. Thiefshipping At Stake

******Back again! Holars! Here's your chappie for the week! **

******So he _wasn't_ faking it! But is Marik aware of that? Find out in this chapter!  
Do NOT be alarmed by the chapter title. The only people who need to be alarmed are those IN the chapter. **

******MARIK FANGIRLS, _PLEASE_ DO NOT BE OFFENDED BY THIS CHAPTER! PLEASE! I BEG YOU!**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, sexiness, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, many lemons, Soup, explosives, Pokémon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, Skylanders Giants, A Perfect Circle, Happy Tree Friends, Pokémon, any of their characters, any tea-making skills, or the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

_~Meanwhile, in Marik's room...~_

"I don't believe you!"

"It's true! He was faking it!"

"Not to brag on my influence and power here, but I wrote the freaking story so I would know if he's lying. And he isn't."

"He was. When he got off of me, there wasn't a single sign that he had been serious! He was faking it to get you and Ryou out of the room! He's Bakura. He has the self-control of a TV holding it's own remote!"

The three of us were in Marik's room. Marik and I were standing in front of the bed, close to the door. Ryou was on the bed, watching us argue. A few moments ago, he had burst in shouting that Bakura had been faking his reaction, which I immediately responded to by saying he was wrong. At the moment, we were forehead-to-forehead, arguing about it.

"No! I know you're wrong! I saw that face. It wasn't faked! I bet you five million quid that Bakura was legitimately and totally aroused when you were pulling on his bunny ears and when he was kissing you on the couch and oh my frigging Ra I cannot believe I just said all of that out loud with a straight face I am so proud of myself!" I squealed and jumped up and down a few times to congratulate myself, then went back to glaring at Marik, our foreheads pressed against each other.

"Wrong! If he was 'legitimately and totally aroused' as you said, then why didn't I notice? My ankle was right over his crotch and I didn't feel a thing! How do you explain that?!"

"Oh seriously?" I quieted a bit. "Wow I thought that he _was_ and your leg was just covering it..."

"Cuz there was nothing to cover. He just wanted you out of the room."

"No! I insist! Maybe he's just _really_ good at hiding it! Why would he try to get me out of the room when clearly all he wanted to do was keep me in there and pelt me with metaphorical thiefshipping and literal lemons! He wanted me there to torture me! Admit it! You totally drove Bakura crazy and you're trying to justify it. It's totally your fault! You ruined a perfectly good game Ryou and I were playing, ended a totally awesome lemon war that I would have eventually won, and were too stupid to notice that you were pulling on his hair!"

"Shut up! You're not his girlfriend! You don't know him that well."

"Don't know him that well? The thing about his bunny ears was an idea of mine _long_ before you even watched that episode of Hetalia in the first chapter!"

"Aquailita, I'm amazed that you were able to say all of that with such a straight face," Ryou said to me.

I smiled at him. "Thank you," I said to him before turning back to Marik.

"It was the _second_ chapter. And if you're so high and mighty and all-knowing, Ms. Authoress, then why were you unprepared for the lemon attack?"

"It _was_ in the first chapter that you watched Hetalia! And because I-"

Suddenly, completely out of nowhere, I felt Marik's lips touch mine briefly. I reacted instantly. I pushed him away and felt to the ground, backing away from him until I reached the wall, screaming, "OMG HOLY SHIT GET AWAY GET THE BLOODY FUCKING FRIG AWAY FROM ME YOU SODDING WANKER I DON'T LIKE YOU YOU'RE NOT BAKURA I'M NOT YOUR FANGIRL WHY THE BUGGER WOULD YOU KISS ME OH MY RA!" I finally stopped talking so I could catch my breath. The smirk on Marik's face told me that he done what he did because he knew I would react like that and he wanted to freak me out. And it was obvious, too. Most thiefshipping fangirls also liked either Marik or Bakura, rarely both. So it would make sense that a Bakura fangirl freak out if touched by a Marik, yami _or_ hikari. Right?

He knew. He now knew how to torture me. Not just Aquailita me, but fangirl me.

"What the hell!" I cried as I stood up and calmed myself down. "I can't believe you would... Okay that is IT! From now on, I'm serious about you and Bakura in this story. The lemon thing was probably a metaphoric message to me that I should let you two at each other, but what you did right there just now TOTALLY ruined it! You and Bakura _seriously_ and _really_ do _not_ get to have sex in this fanfic anymore! I didn't want to write a lemon chapter anyway! Never did! No more lemons! Not even the fruit kind!"

Marik drew back and gasped loudly, his eyes widening and his jaw dropping. "You aren't serious..."

I folded my arms and glared at him. "I am."

"You aren't!"

"I am."

"Ryou! Convince your adoring fangirl to say that she isn't!"

Ryou shrugged. "She is."

"She is _not_!" a voice responded from the door to Marik's room. We all turned to find Bakura leaning against the door frame with his arms folded and his eyes locked on me. He stormed in, stood between Marik and I, and addressed me.

"Marik is _mine_!" he growled at me. "And I have the right to do whatever the bugger I want with him! I don't care what power you have, you can't keep us apart forever!"

"Aw...how romantic, Fluffy!" Marik said with a sigh, clasping his hands all dramatic-like.

"Sod off, Marik, I'm talking."

"Geez, I was just saying how-"

Bakura made a show of walking over to Marik, pulling Marik close to him by his waist, and kissing him full and passionately on the lips.

Marik melted into that kiss, and his legs went all wobbly and his knees went weak. He wasn't alone; my knees went weak as well. "Holy frig so sexy..." I murmured. Bakura knew full well how I would react to his sudden romantic display, just as Marik knew how I would react to an unwanted...(**to keep the Marik fangirls from tearing me apart, and to keep my Bakura inner fangirl sane, I will not repeat what Marik did**).

"Stop it before I become one of those fangirls who nosebleeds. Which I'm not."

Whether he was complying with my wishes or if he was going to do so anyway, Bakura pulled away from Marik and looked at me. Marik's eyes looked sad and his lips looked like they were lonely and missing Bakura's mouth. His tongue seemed to agree with his lips.

I glanced at Ryou, who was covering his eyes with his hands and probably had been doing so since Bakura came in. "You can open your eyes now. They're done."

Ryou trusted me and uncovered his eyes, letting out a breath he had been holding in. "Whew!"

"So as you can see, Aquailita," Bakura continued, "I can do whatever I want. I have every right in the world to take it as far as I want."

"No you bloody don't!" Ryou suddenly exclaimed.

Bakura turned to him and blinked, thinking he had misheard his hikari. "Excuse me? What was that?"

Ryou stood up and walked over to Bakura, and stood up straight in front of him in the most awe-inspiring show of bravery from Ryou in his yami's face. "You do _NOT_ have every right in the world to do whatever you want with him! You keep forgetting that it is _MY_ body that you are using, and I do not appreciate the fact and knowledge that you let Marik run his hands all over it whenever you want to! I want my body back and I refuse to let this go on any further without my feelings being considered. This is why I hate you, yami. You have taken over my life far too much and I insist that you let me have my body back!"

When he was done, an awkward silence filled the room.

Which Marik broke ever-so-stupidly. "Ryou, not for nothing, but I _do_ want a say in this as well. And I say Bakura gets to stay with me. I love him. That's already two against one. Bakura doesn't care what our authoress says, so it doesn't really matter. And even if it did, she would totally side with theifshipping. Isn't that right, Aquailta?"

"Uh...!" I was now torn. (lol torn.) What should I do? Side with thiefshipping, or side with Ryou? Side with my favorite pairing, or side with my favorite character? Side with sexy, or side with cute? That right there... Although I'm not a fangirl of Marik, as a true fan of YGO I feel obligated to honestly admit that Marik _is_ sexy. Who would deny that, fangirl or not?!

When it comes down to it, my decision had to be based off of which Bakura I'd rather be helping. The cute adorable one, or the evil sexy one? Should be easy, right? Seing as the evil one tried to pelt me to death with fruit.

But I couldn't decide! I loved both of the Bakuras! If it was Thief Bakura instead of Yami Bakura, the choice would be a _lot_ easier. But it wasn't. It _was_ Yami Bakura. So what do I choose?! Thiefshipping or Ryou?! Sexiness or freedom?!

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH I DON'T KNOW!" I screamed. I ran out of the room.

"Aqua wait!" Ryou shouted as he ran after me.

The two thieves exchanged confused glances.  
Marik's face seemed to ask: "what did we just do?"  
Bakura's face replied: "i think i just made my fangirl cry..."

* * *

**What will I choose?! I don't bloody know! Thiefshipping or Ryou's sanity? You're all probably shouting "THIEFSHIPPING THIEFSHIPPING WHO CARES ABOUT RYOU WHO'S RYOU, ANYWAY?!"  
lolz. You'll see...yoooouuuu'llll seeeeeeee...**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	12. Keep Calm and Love Your Fangirls

******AAAWWW! People actually DID care about poor little Ryou-kun! How Nice! (^3^)**

******OMG WHAT WILL I CHOOOOOOOOSSSEEEEEE?!  
Honestly, it could go either way. Who knows! But don't worry! I assure you that NO ONE will be disappointed!  
Unfortunately, you'll have to wait for next chapter to actually find out what I decide. tee hee hee im evil!  
This chapter is short. It was originally supposed to be longer, but I decided to make it shorter to add suspense to the situation.**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, sexiness, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, many lemons, Soup, explosives, Pokémon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, Skylanders Giants, A Perfect Circle, Happy Tree Friends, Pokémon, any of their characters, any tea-making skills, or the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

_~In the living room...~_

I was back to playing Skylanders. The indecision was killing me!

_How_, I wondered,_ could they ask me to choose between them?! I suppose I could have just sided with Ryou so that the score would be even, right?_ (Marik and Bakura, two, against Ryou and I, two.)

"Aqua, wait!"

I paused the game and turned around to find Ryou floating in.

"What is it?" I asked as I turned back to the game and un-paused it. "Are they making out again in front of you?"

"No. I came to ask if you were alright. Are you?" He took a seat next to me.

"I'm fine. The indecision is just killing me. That's all."

"Aw..." Ryou stared at me, knowing the one thing that would cheer me up, and knowing that he could give it to me. But... would it be a wise thing to do? He didn't know. But he genuinely loves all of his fangirls, so he was willing to risk his safety to make me feel better.

He scooted over and gave me a hug.

My eyes widened, I dropped the controllers, and I stopped caring that Spyro was getting his ass kicked by Chompies***** in the game. "R-r-ryou!?"

"It's okay, Aqua," he whispered soothingly in my ear.

"Aw Ryou-kuuuunnnnnn! OMR ur so friggin kawaiiiiii" I squealed. I gave him a temporary physical presence so that he could actually touch me and so I could hug him back.

I hugged back, and felt several dozen times better.

He flinched a bit, probably at my volume.

His physical presence gave me an idea!

"Ryou! That's it!" I pulled away from his hug and stood up. "Get back to the room! I have an idea!"

* * *

***If you know Skylanders, then you know that this is a HUGE fail. I don't think ANYONE has ever been defeated by Chompies. Ever. If you have ever been defeated by a swarm of Chompies, you are a noob.**

**Don't be jealous. Ryou can hug you when YOU insert yourself into YOUR OWN fanfictions. Here, Ryou is all mine... (^3^)**

**OOOOOHHH! What's going to happen?! What will I choose?! What's my idea?! oooh the suspense!  
tee hee hee!**

**Ryou is just such an adorable sweetheart! One of the few fictional characters to love his fangirls...  
As a thank you to Ryou for being awesome, everyone who plans to review have "K3" at the bottom of it. (It's supposed to be a heart...an underlined one, I guess? Cuz we can't use the actual symbolthingy on the site (frig you, FF.N!))**

**Now...you'll have to wait next chapter to find out what I decide, buuuuutttt...**

**I'M UPDATING TWICE THIS WEEK!  
****YOU'RE WELCOME!**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	13. The Great Compromise

******Here's your second update! You're very welcome!**

******Crazy stuff is going to start happening soon!**

******You will find out what I decide to do in THIS CHAPTER OMG!  
I promise that NO ONE will be dissapointed. Wanna know why?**

******READ ON!**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, sexiness, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, many lemons, Soup, explosives, Pokémon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, Skylanders Giants, A Perfect Circle, Happy Tree Friends, Pokémon, any of their characters, any tea-making skills, or the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

_~Back in the room~_

"How about this, you three!"

"Hm?"

We were back in Marik's room. From left to right stood Marik, Ryou, and Bakura in front of me.

"I have author's power, remember! I can solve everyone's problems! I didn't want to do this but balance is already fucked up so no harm done, right? I'll give Bakura his own separate body, let Ryou keep the Millenium Ring, and just to be safe I'll make it so that Melvin doesn't exist in this story. How does that sound?"

"It-" Ryou started to say

"And!" I interrupted, "Marik can keep the Hetalia shirt and Ryou can keep the Skylander shirt! And Bakura can keep the whatevers I gave him! How about that!"

Everyone exchanged glances with each other and me. It was the perfect deal! Marik got his Hetalia shirt and rid of Melvin, Bakura got his own body, the DVD and music, and rid of Ryou (but also of the Shadow Magic from the Millenium Ring), and Ryou was freed of Bakura's parasitic residence in his body and could keep his gaydar and the Skylanders shirt. Everyone benefited! There was no way anyone could turn it down!

"It's a deal!" everyone shouted in unison.

"Kay this is gonna be easy!"

I pointed dramatically at the ceiling and felt my Author's Power surging through me and shit like that. Unlike before, there was nothing staticy going on with their shirts because they were already wearing them.  
I pointed dramatically at Marik with one hand, then the next instant later I pointed at both Bakuras in turn with the other hand. Then I lowered my hands.

Marik suddenly fell to the ground in pain and grabbed his forehead.  
Meanwhile, Bakura and Ryou suddenly merged together.

Then, a weird evil black blobby thing came out of Marik's head and out of the story. I swear I heard it say to me _"I'll be back, Binky... Girl!"_  
At the same time, Bakura and Ryou un-merged and both appeared solid. Ryou wore the Millenium Ring and the Skylanders shirt, while Bakura wore his usual stripped shirt.

Bakura and Ryou had their own bodies and Marik was rid of Melvin. For now.

"I feel so super special awesome!" Ryou shouted.

"Congratulations, Yugi," Bakura said sarcastically.

"I feel about half as evil as I did five minutes ago," Marik commented.

"Yay!" I shouted triumphantly.

"So now that you've made life much better for us and Ryou feels all better," Bakura said annoyedly, "are you going to be leaving now?"

I laughed and replied:  
"Hell no!"

* * *

**WHAAAAAAAAAA?!  
Lols I've been in the story for so long but I STILL don't want to leave! **

**Who frigging cares! I make this story fun anyway!  
But how good am I REALLY to this story? Tell me, do you believe my self-insert has been more beneficial or more disruptive for this story? What do you think!  
(lolz Baku doesnt get to vote because we already know what he's going to say.)**

_**(Obviously, Melvin has been removed from this story so that he won't be making any appearances. He was mentioned in the first chapter of ICaBBE(oBW) and then again in the chapter where Bakura kills that guy in a Shadow Game, but that's it. He won't appear at all or mentioned anymore.)  
(UNLESS! You people ****WANT**** me to include him and if some of the deathshippers reading this story want me to. But unless a certain number of people ask, he won't be. No exceptions.)**_

**There is a certain fangirl that is going to become VERY important later on. She knows who she is and I'm telling her this right now...ONLY FOUR MORE CHAPTERS UNTIL THE FUN STARTS! (^7^) You ready?**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	14. Keep Calm and Defend Your Fangirls

******HOLAAAAAAAARRRRSS! **

******Wah... I was reading through this story earlier this morning and I noticed SOOO many mistakes in some previous chapters (like i typed 'give' instead of 'five') and some things in the story that didn't line up. I felt totally fail that I had missed so many edits, but then I looked at the AN and realized that I had rush-uploaded it, and specifically said that I would go back and edit it later. I don't feel so fail now. But still... I understand (and really love it) if you didnt even notice that because you just like the story too much, but I did. And I don't want to make you people scrutinize everything or become my editing team, but if you see a word you think I missed or mixed up, or something that doesn't quite line up in the story, then let me know so I can go back and fix it.**

******Sorry. Forget what I said about Melvin. He's not coming back into the story. Sorry. This is thiefshipping, not deathshipping. And do you really WANT Ryou to be mentally scarred even more?!**

******The next three chapters are really short. The one after those is going to be REALLY long. There's a fun thingy thing going to happen in that chapter. I hope you are all as anxious for it as I am...(probably not because i can get like mad hype over the stupidest things...)**

******Shit gets real all up in this fucking chapter. I usually don't curse, especially not in my ANs. But SHIT. GETS. FUCKING. REAL. You'll see...yoooooooou'lllll seeeeeeeee...**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, sexiness, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, many lemons, Soup, explosives, Pokémon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, Skylanders Giants, A Perfect Circle, Happy Tree Friends, Pokémon, any of their characters, any tea-making skills, or the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Marik and Bakura stared at me with wide eyes and open mouths. "WHAT?!" Bakura shouted. "Why not?!"

"Because I'm having too much fun here! And my work here isn't _quite_ done. I feel like there are a few things unsettled in this story. Besides, I'm already part of the plot. Why try to change it?"

"What kind of things are still unsettled?" Bakura asked warily, unsure of if he actually wanted to hear my answer.

"Here's one: Bakura, there's something you should know..."

"What?"

Since Marik had been the one to think of the lemon idea to try and piss me off and hurt me, I would be the one to rat him out and piss _him_ off and hurt him! "Marik kissed me so I could freak out because he knows I'm not his fangirl and would be freaked out!"

Bakura's jaw dropped. His fists clenched tight and his arms dropped straight to his sides. He slowly turned to Marik. His face was sort...of enraged...a bit...like...a lot. Remember that look in Bakura's eyes in that chapter of ICaBBE(oBW) where I pranked him? That look was in his eyes now.

"Marik! What the damn bloody buggering fucking hell?!"

"Language, Bakura! There are minors in the room!"

"I don't care! Why the bugger would you kiss one of my fangirls?!"

"To piss her off and freak her out," Marik replied simply. "Isn't that what _you're_ trying to accomplish?"

Bakura shook his head and laughed. "Nonononononono. You don't understand, do you? You kissed one of _my_ fangirls! Do you have _any_ idea how jealous that will make _your_ fangirls?! You crossed a line! She's not just my fangirl, she's my hikari's fangirl as well! That's _two_ lines you crossed! I will not stand for this! And why would you kiss a _girl_ anyways? I thought you were totally gay!"

"I am, Fluffy!" Marik cried. "Wow. I never thought I would say that." He glared at me for ratting him out, then turned back to Bakura, his face desperate and apologetic. "I kiss girls all the time. Girls who _think_ I'm straight and _think_ they have a chance with someone as sexy as me! Is it not one of the most evil things in the world to break a girl's heart by leading her on before cruelly dumping her and telling her it was all a lie? That has to be one of my most evil hobbies! And this-"

"Is _completely_ different!" Bakura interrupted. "You being gay or not isn't even the bloody point! The truth of the matter is, you kissed _my_ fangirl! You don't even have the right to _hug_ one of my fangirls! That is just crossing a line, Marik. One I thought even _you_ would never cross."

Meanwhile, Ryou and I were watching them argue, eating from a bag of popcorn that I had Authored up. As far as thiefshipping went, after making out, arguing is the best part! It's what makes thiefshipping what it is! And besides, they needed a bit of thiefshipping arguing. Too much of the conflict had been with me. Too much sexual tension, as France would put it. Time for a bit of normalcy.

"You didn't complain when _she_ touched _me_! And _you_ weren't all too keen on hugging _her_! Why should you care if I hug her? And you don't even like her, anyway!"

"Nooooo!" Bakura shook his finger. "Don't even bring her into this! It doesn't matter if I like her or not! It doesn't matter _which_ fangirl it is. It could have been Aquailita, Dynamite and Soup, randomgirl40, Yami the Dark, sailorblaze, VampiresTDIfreddyfangirl, or even one of my many roleplayer fangirls*****! It doesn't matter. The point is that no matter how much I hate each individual one, as a whole I LOVE MY FANGIRLS and I _will_ defend them. I refuse to stand here and let someone whose fangirls _my_ fangirls have the most arguments with, who not to mention is someone I _also_ love, practically sexually harass one of my own! You've pissed me off before, Marik, but this time you've gone too far! Ugh! I swear, this is how irritated I was when I left our Council in the fifth video!"

Marik gasped loudly and took a step back. "B-b-bakura-kun! Y-y-you honestly don't mean that, do you?!"

"I do."

"But...I-"

"Save it, Marik. I'm sure that even Ryou would agree with me on this matter. Wouldn't you, my dear former host?"

Bakura turned to Ryou, who sat on the bed next to me with a mouthful of popcorn, and gave him an expectant look. Ryou swallowed before answering so as not to be rude by talking with food in his mouth, then shook his head wildly and shouted, "LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS!"

He turned away from Ryou. "Very well...Aquailita! What do you have to say about this?"

"I appreciate your concern, Fluffy, but leave me out of this as well! Keep arguing it's adorable!"

Fluffy blinked once, then slowly turned to meet my thiefshipping-adoring gaze. "_WHAT_ did you just say?"

"Uh..."

"Oh," he said in a dangerous and even tone. "That's right. You are the authoress. You have total control over this story. Ha. Isn't that interesting?"

"Bakura..." His even tone was starting to scare me a bit.

"So, really, you _made_ Marik kiss you! So this is _your_ fault! What are you trying to do?!"

"Whoa!" I had forgotten how possessive and defensive I had made Bakura's character in this series! "Chillax, Bakura! I didn't _want_ this to happen! By now, I'm pretty much as much of a character as the rest of you! I'm barely even the author anymore! I'm just a self-insert!"

"Then what's with that bag of popcorn you and my host are eating out of? Wasn't there a minute ago."

"That's just a small thing. Has nothing to do with anything."

"Doesn't it?"

"Think about it! Why would I make Marik kiss me when _you're_ the one I like?! And on the lips, too? That's going a bit-"

"Wait!" he cut me off. He slowly turned on Marik again. His teeth clenched tightly together, he said in a low voice. "You kissed _my_ fangirl...on the _lips_?!"

"Uh..."

"That is something that _you_ would do! Not something _she_ would make you do! That's even worse!"

"I'm sorry Fluffy it was spur-of-the-moment! I just wanted to shut her up and it worked! Please don't hate me forever! I'm sorry!"

"Sorry won't cut it. You don't mess with Yami Bakura's fangirls like that without Yami Bakura's permission. You mess with his fangirls, he's going to tear off your face with my teeth, got it?"

Marik's eyes widened and he nodded. Now, he was scared. And now Ryou and I were scared as well. Bakura started taking slow steps toward Marik, herding him closer and closer to Marik's bed and looking poised to attack.

Then, Marik decided to go all Italy on us. He even started waving a white flag. I had no idea where he got it from. "Please Bakura don't kill me I'm sorry I kissed one of your fangirls even though she's one you don't actually like I regret it honestly and stuff but please don't kill me please because I have friends in your country I know people in England like you and Ryou oh wait you _are_ you well I have fangirls in England as well and they're begging you not to kill me I'd rather _them_ tear me apart from jealousy than you ripping my face off please Bakura I love you and I know you love me back and I really don't want to _DIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE_!"

We all covered our ears against Marik's scream and plea for mercy which had reached a pitch surprisingly high for even Marik. He was kneeling on the floor, his hands were clasped together and he was waving them pleadingly at Bakura, his eyes were shut tight, and he was practically crying. He really was a true Heta-freak fanboy. Only a fan of Hetalia could do a beg-for-mercy rant like that so beautifully and without messing up! The white flag was on the floor next to him.

I didn't have the heart to remind Marik that the last time Bakura said he was going to kill him and actually _meant_ it was in one of the last chapters of Italian Curls and British Bunny Ears (or Bat Wings) when Bakura had the Millenium Ring with him. Not only was Ryou wearing the Ring, but also Bakura wasn't trying to get it back. He wasn't really going to hurt Marik. Only yell at him.

Right?

Bakura facepalmed and sighed. "Marik, get off the floor," he said quietly.

Marik stopped crying and opened an eye. He saw Bakura's eyes covered by his hand, so he knew it was safe to smile triumphantly. He stood up and his smile beamed. "Aw! I knew you wouldn't attack me Bakura!" He noticed at the exact same moment I did that Bakura had moved his hand and was smirking evilly.

Marik's smile faded just before Bakura tackled him and pinned Marik's hands to the bed. Ryou and I jumped off and stood off to the side, continuing to watch.

"Oh Ra save me Kura don't kill mmmphhh!" was all he got out before Bakura pressed their lips together.

_This came totally put of nowhere!_ I thought in shock.

Ryou almost dropped the popcorn when his hands shot to his face to cover his eyes against the thiefshipping. I caught the bag and continued eating. This was getting good!

Bakura broke their kiss for a few moments.

"By the gods, you are so sexy," Bakura murmured.

"You are so weird! What is frigging wrong with you?!"

"I am a yami. And a Bakura. And I am also Yami Bakura. A lot is wrong with me." Then he kissed Marik again.

_Hey...where did that white flag go?_ I wondered.

Seconds later, Bakura abruptly pulled away. Marik was breathing hard from the excitement of thinking he was going to be murdered by his boyfriend, then being kissed by his boyfriend.

The look in Marik's eyes said that he wanted more. His tongue seemed to agree.

Bakura stood up, breathing perfectly normally and smirking. "There. That's my revenge. I scare you half to death by making you think that I'm going to destroy you for kissing one of my fangirls. Then, I leave you craving more by kissing you but not going any further. The perfect torture." He turned to Ryou and I. He walked over to us and stole some popcorn from the bag. When he had swallowed, he said to everyone, "I'll be in my room, enjoying my new separate body from my hikari. Thank you for that, Aquailita." Bakura ruffled my hair, then took the popcorn bag from me and handed it to Ryou who had deemed it safe enough to uncover his eyes. Then, the most amazing thing happened. Bakura gave me a hug. Voluntarily.

After five seconds, I squealed once, then fainted in his arms.

He let my limp body drop to the floor. He smiled at Ryou, who was staring at me with worry all over his face.

"This has to be one of the best days of my life in this decade of my existence!" Bakura exclaimed cheerfully. "Had sex with Marik, scarred my hikari for life (probably), pelted the authoress with fruit, got my own separate body from my host, was given a DVD of several seasons of the bloodiest and goriest cartoon ever, and made Aquailita pass out. This day honestly could not get any better!"

Then, Bakura walked out and headed for his bedroom, leaving Marik on the bed, breathing hard and his mouth lonely, Ryou standing there with a bag of popcorn in his hands, eyes and mouth wide open, and me on the floor, unconscious and smiling like a maniac.

* * *

***Different authors of different fanfics that I know Bakura was pissed off or pranked in.**

**Isn't Bakura just so nice...?  
****Don't be jealous, fangirls!**

**OMG WILL I BE OKAY?! Eventually, maybe.**

**If I'm in a good mood this week, I'll upload the next chapter at the end of the week instead of next week.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	15. Cleaning Up and Fangirlitis

******HERE YOU GO! Your end-of-the-week early chatper, like I said I might give you! (Although I'm doing it because my week _sucks_, and I want to do something satisfying and productive for people who care.)  
This chapter will be short.**

******lolz u people needz ta stop being jealous!**

******The only person OOC in this chapter is me. But it's not my fault; it's Bakura's.**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, sexiness, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, many lemons, Soup, explosives, Pokémon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, Skylanders Giants, A Perfect Circle, Happy Tree Friends, Pokémon, any of their characters, any tea-making skills, or the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Marik finally sat up. At the moment, he was watching Ryou attempt to wake me up. He tried fanning me with a book and shaking my shoulders, but it didn't work.

"Marik! Get a cup of water for me NOW!" he ordered.

"Of course!" Not wanting to cause anymore fangirl-related trouble, Marik instantly complied with Ryou's demands for my benefit.

He left the room and came back with a cup of water in ten seconds. Ryou took the cup from him and splashed it on my face.

I shot up instantly into a sitting position and shouted "OMG BAKURA-FRIGGIN-SEXY-KUN HE HUGGED ME HOLY BLOODY SHIT AND ALL THAT STUFF where the bugger am I?" I looked around in confusion, then up at Marik who stood next to Ryou, then at Ryou who knelt next to me. "Oh hey you two where did that evil smexy fluffy cat go? I wish to pet him. Also why is my face wet with H2O?"

They exchanged worried glances. "She probably has temporary fangirl-itis*****," the cute Brit said to the sexy Egyptian.

"Yes," the sexy Egyptian replied to the cute Brit. "Let's get her calmed down."

Ryou raced out of the room. Marik picked me up and carried me out after him. "Oh hey where are we going."

Marik set me down in front of the Portal of Power and Ryou placed the Wii controllers in my hand. "Oh yes that's right Bakura had finished the chapter for me! That's so bloody fan-tucking-fastic! He's such a good kitty! But holy crap I got Spyro's ass kicked by Chompies... Well I'm a noob." I started playing the game. I calmed down and my thoughts gradually transitioned from Bakura to Skylanders.

They watched me from the hallway. They sighed in relief that I was taken care of for the time being. Now that the two craziest people in the household at that moment, Bakura and I, were relaxed and quietly doing their own thing, they could clean up some of the mess that those two people had caused.

Careful to not block my view of the screen, they started cleaning up the fruit and pillows. Marik went to his room to get the box they had been in. (Dont ask me! I have no idea why Marik has a box of lemons in his room!) Then Ryou went into the room as well and retrieved the half-empty bag of popcorn for me. He set it down next to me and I automatically started snacking from it.

They sighed again. Now I was _truly_ occupied. They high-fived.

* * *

***Kudos to Dynamite and Soup for the term and the idea.**

**Told you it would be short. **

**Things seem to be calming down...But ARE they?  
Two more chapters...That's all I'm going to say...**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	16. Another Apology Accepted

******Hope you enjoyed the early chapter last week! **

******BTW, My first YGO fanfic and my first theifshipping story, Triangular Hallway, is actually going to be updated soon! I haven't worked on it in so long due to personal things and lack of ideas and whatevers, but it's finally going to start back up again! I'm mentioning it here because it was my first YGO story and if you read through it you can actually see how I grew and progressed in my writing and in the YGO fandom. So go read it, when you have time or interest!**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, sexiness, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, many lemons, Soup, explosives, Pokémon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, Skylanders Giants, A Perfect Circle, Happy Tree Friends, Neflix, Never Gonna Give you Up (is that even the title of it?), Pokémon, any of their characters, any tea-making skills, or the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Ryou stood behind Marik. Marik turned his head to look at him and the Brit nodded. Ryou pushed him forward a little bit.

Marik glared at him, then stepped towards me. He tapped me on the shoulder.

I glanced up at him. I was in the ruins, so I had time for that. I paused the game and looked at him. He sat down next to me.

"Uh...Aqua?"

"Yeah?"

"I uh..." He looked up at Ryou, who nodded. "I'm sorry for kissing you. Bakura was right. That was all kinds of wrong and I crossed a line. I'm sorry. I apologize to all of my fangirls, as well. I promise that I won't do it ever again. Forgiveness, maybe?"

I smiled at him. It was obvious that Ryou convinced him to apologize, but I knew that he meant it anyway. "Aw it's okay! I'm over it. Don't know if Bakura is, though, but I am." My smile turned evil. "I have forgiven you, so now I don't have to utterly destroy every single item of Hetalia merchandise you have in your room!"

Marik flinched and leaned away from me. "You were going to do that?!" he asked worriedly.

I laughed. "No! I was kidding. Now we're sort of even. So...did you want to watch Hetalia on Neflix, now?"

His eyes lit up. "HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE YES YES YES!"

I smiled at him. "Great! You've waited patiently for this. Just give me a minute to save and I'll start showing you how to set it up."

He nodded and moved away.

I entered a chapter, then left immediately so that my game could save. Then I turned off the Wii.

"Okay. So let's get started..."

"Uh... Wait a moment," he interrupted. "I know that I said I wouldn't kiss you again... But can I hug you?"

I laughed again. "Sure. I'm no stranger to love. But you know the rules. And so do I." Then I burst out into song. "Never gonna give you up/ Never gonna let you down/ Never gonna turn around and desert you!"

Marik gave me a weird look. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to verbally Rick Roll you."

"Well it's not working. It only works with videos."

"Oh. Well do you want that hug or not?"

"Yes. Because you are totally..." Marik gulped and looked at Ryou again. Ryou folded his arms and nodded again, a small smile on his face. Marik sighed and turned back to me. "You are totally..." He averted his gaze and mumbled, "frigging super special awesome."

My eyes widened and I smiled. "Did you just...refer to me as something that is the catchphrase of one of your nemesis, Marik? Yugi, to be exact?"

Marik nodded and looked at me. "Ryou suggested I do it. Said you would like if I called you that."

I nodded. "Of course. Hug?" I smiled and held my arms out.

Marik smiled as well and also held his arms out. "Hug!"

We hugged for about three seconds.

Then I started setting up Neflix for him and showing him how to get Hetalia on it.

* * *

.

Meanwhile, Ryou decided to check up on Bakura...

.

* * *

We were done by the time he came back.

"Hey. Are you almost done?"

We looked up. He walked in with a frown on his face and a small bruise on his neck. There were only three explanations I could think of for it*****. Two of them were probably not something Ryou would be comfortable in explaining, and the last one was probably a little embarrassing. So I kept my mouth shut.

But Marik didn't. "What happened to your neck?" he asked.

As the author, I could sense that Ryou was about to blush. So I immediately said, "So Marik, I found Episode 1 for you..."

Marik immediately ignored Ryou and turned to the TV. I handed him the remote and his eyes lit up further. "OMG THANKS, AQUAILITA!"

Although he wasn't paying any attention to me anymore, I smiled. "You're welcome! Marik, I hope you don't mind me hanging out in your room. I need to use your computer."

"Sure whatever that's fine go ahead the password is SexyBakuThiefFTW. Capital S, capital B, capital T, and capital FTW."

"Odd password, but fiting. Thanks."

"That's the second password. The first password is the chant. Remember the one from the Bloodlines videos?" He started the episode.

I raised an eyebrow. "Wait...seriously?"

He nodded and kept his eyes glued to the screen. "Yeah. It doesn't have an ON button, so I have to chant that to turn on. Takes frigging forever, like I said."

"Uh...oh...kaaaaayyy... Ryou."

Ryou looked at me, his arms still folded. "Yes?"

"You coming? Or you staying with Marik?"

He looked between us, then sat on the floor next to Marik. "I'll stay out here. You go have some fun time away from us crazy anime characters."

I laughed at that and walked over to him so I could pet his soft hair. "Silly, Bakura Ryou-kun! As a fangirl, I'm crazier than the two of you combined! I'm off! Peace out!"

I ran to Marik's room, trying to remember how the chant went, leaving the two hikaris to watch Hetalia.

I hoped that Ryou would be safe with Marik. He probably would be. It was only Bakura that any of us needed to worry about...

"Winged PC in the sky, hear my cry! Transform thyself from off to on..."

* * *

*******Kudos to you if you can correctly guess the three possible explanations. I'll say the actual expanations in the EndingAN of next chapter. **

******It seems like things are calming down, finally. But are they really? Things are about to get crazy again...  
****Next chapter is also short. It's a very important transitional chapter. **

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	17. Planning A Prank

**********HOLAAAARRRRSSSSZZZ!  
OMR it seems like it's been forever since the last update, even though it was only last week.**

**********This chapter will be _VERY_ short.**

**********In case you were wondering about what happened to Ryou's neck last chapter, but you couldn't figure out what had happened, here are the three posibilities that I had mentioned:  
1************) Tendershipping of some sort**  
**2) Ryou abuse**  
**3) British spaz fail  
Only one of these three things could have happened, and only one of these three things really DID happen. But I will let YOU people decide which one you want to have happened. I leave it up to your own wild fangirling imaginations! (^_^)**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, sexiness, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, fangirls, many lemons, Soup, Explosives, Pokémon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, Skylanders Giants, A Perfect Circle, Happy Tree Friends, Neflix, Cambells, Pokémon, any of their characters, any tea-making skills, or the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Later, I leaned out of the hallway.

"Pst! Blishtar! Bakura!" I whispered.

The two hikaris looked up at me from where they sat on the couch and floor, respectively. Their faces showed confusion, probably over why I was calling them those names.

Marik paused the episode of Hetalia. "Yes?" they both asked.

I eyed the nearby door to Bakura's room. "I'm bored." I announced as I walked into the living room. "Wanna mess around with Bakura?"

Marik perked up and looked _WAY_ too excited. "You're asking me if I want to MESS AROUND WITH Bakura?"

"Omg lol, Marik, not like that! Ugh!" But I giggled and covered my mouth at the thiefshipping mention! "No like... Gang up on him and play a prank on him and stuff! What do you two say?!"

Evil and devious smiles slowly appeared on their faces. They nodded slowly. They'd had enough shit from Bakura for one day, and were more than happy to play a prank on the evil limey feline to put him in his place!

"Excellent!" I cried! "I thought of the perfect prank! Here's what I had in mind..."

* * *

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure. But I'm gonna need some help with it, though. So what I'm going to do is..."

* * *

**Told you it would be short.**

**I****'ve been waiting for next chapter to come since like...FO'EVAH! So has another fellow fangirl of mine.  
****THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR HELP!**

**Surprise fangirl cameo next chapter! Guess who it is! A hint: she was mentioned in this fanfic.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	18. Revenge of the Hikaris and Fangirls

**********THIS IS IT! I've been waiting for this chapter for like...EVAH! This chapter has been waiting to be posted for months, now.  
In this chapter, we shall prank the frig out of Florence! U hyped?**

**********And the person with the cameo IIIIIIIIISSSSSS...  
************lol jk not telling you! You'll see!**

**********This chapter will be _VERY_ long.**

**********K NO MORE CHIT CHAT! TO THE CHAPTER!**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, sexiness, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, fangirls, many lemons, Soup, Explosives, Pokémon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, Skylanders Giants, A Perfect Circle, Happy Tree Friends, Neflix, Cambells, Fifty Shades of Grey, H.P. Lovecraft's Tales of Horror, Twilight, Pokémon, any of their characters/trademarks, any tea-making skills, or the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

I peeked inside his room. He didn't notice me, thankfully.

He was reading a book. It appeared to be 50 Shades of Grey. But it could also have been H.P. Lovecraft's Tales of Horror. Something along those lines. But it didn't really matter. All that mattered was that he was distracted, the book was hardcover, it had a book jacket, and it was very thick and long.

The odd thing was that he had left the door open, but I didn't really care.

I ran back to the living room. "Ready guys?" I whispered.

"Ready."

"Ready."

"Ready."

"Let's do this then!" We all split up.

And the fun commenced!

* * *

Marik peeked inside the room to make sure Bakura was still reading. Then he walked in.

Bakura heard him and looked up. "Did I forget to close the door?" he asked. He usually didn't do that...

"Ya you did."

"Oh well... close it please." He went back to reading.

Marik smiled and walked over to his bed, didn't close the door, sat down next to him, and tapped his book.

He looked over the pages at Marik. "What?"

"Whatcha doing?"

"Obviously I'm reading. What are you doing?"

"Bothering you."

"Well bugger off, please. I'm trying to enjoy being alone with my new body."

"Can I enjoy it with you?"

"Hmf... Maybe later."

"Why not now?"

"Because I don't want to right now. Also Ryou and Aquailita are here and I really don't want them around to hear or interrupt."

"We can kick them out, you know. It's _our_ appartement." As he spoke, he gently took the book out of Bakura's hands, putting one of the flaps of the book jacket between the pages as a bookmark. He looked at what page he was on first and memorized the number.

"Maybe we can. I should go over there right now and send them to the Shadow Realm."

"Tsk. Come now, Bakura. Would you really do that to your hikari and your fangirl?"

"When they're Ryou and Aquailita, I would. And I wish Dynamite and Soup was here so I could send her to the Shadow Realm too."

**Oh the IRONY!**

"Don't be so mean, Kura..."

"I'm not being mean. I'm being fair. My fangirls are my best allies but my worst tormentors. I tend to focus more on the torment part."

"Ignore them."

"Well maybe now that you're here, I can..."

"Am I distracting you?"

"Yeah." Bakura slipped his arms underneath Marik's and brought his hands behind Marik's head.

"Bakura, kiss me," Marik pleaded, a bit loudly.

"Sh! I don't want them hearing. And I was going to anyway..." He closed his eyes and pulled Marik's head closer so their lips were touching.

I heard the codephrase 'kiss me'. I snuck from behind the wall outside and crawled my way to the open door. I peeked my head inside.

I knocked on the door so quietly that only someone who was expecting it and listening for it would hear. Marik did.

Marik put his arms behind his back, then held out eight fingers. He held them out for two seconds, then put down one finger. A few seconds later, he held up eight fingers again. Then seven again. Eight again. Seven again. He paused for about five seconds before going back to eight each time, and each time he paused for two seconds before going to seven.

I got the message. 87*****. I wrote the number down on a little piece of paper and left the note leaning against the wall.

Marik's hands moved from behind him to behind Bakura so Bakura wouldn't be alerted of his arms suspiciously out of action. Marik turned them so that Bakura's sight of the door was blocked by his head. I stood up and crept inside. I walked over to Bakura's desk and started shuffling around for papered very quietly. Marik started kissing harder. So did Bakura.

I heard a noise and whipped my head around. Marik and Bakura were making little moaning noises and moving their hands around each other's head and back and neck and stomach. I stared wide-eyed at my first ever live show of an all-out thiefshipping make-out session. I felt my knees go weak at the lovely sight. Then I shook my head and slapped myself. I had to focus on my mission! Marik could only be sexually distracting for so long.

I finally found the papers I was looking for. I snatched them up, folded them up, and shoved them in my pocket. Then I got on the floor and carefully crept up to the bed. I tried with all my might not to squeal and fangasm and sigh as I slowly kneeled up. Careful to dodge Bakura's traveling arms, I pinched the hem of Marik's shirt and tugged twice. He nodded as much as he could with his and Bakura's faces pressed together.

I went over to Bakura's dresser then. Marik timed me right and kept angling and repositioning himself and Bakura so Bakura's view of me was always blocked. I quickly located Bakura's sock drawer and quietly opened it a bit. Then I went back to the desk. Marik timed me well again and moved again.

I sensed Bakura wondering why Marik was moving so much.

I couldn't tell if that was good or bad.

I pretended to be shuffling on the desk, a bit louder this time. I made something fall to the floor and I whispered "Crap!"

Bakura opened his eyes and separated his face from Marik's. "What was that?" he asked.

"Probably someone in the hallway. Ignore it please."

"The hallway... I should go close the door. Wouldn't want Aquailita watching. She doesn't deserve it." He moved away from Marik and stood up to go to the door. Still looking at Marik, he said, "Besides, we're not allowed to be doing this according to h-" he turned his head and saw me. I froze.

"Crap in a bloody bucket..."

"She was in here and watching?!"

I quickly replaced the fallen object and dashed out of the room.

Bakura looked at the desk. He noticed papers moved around and ran over to it. "What did she take?!"

"Baku..." Marik called from the bed. "Come back please? She knows everything so she probably doesn't need anything from there."

"No, she took something!" he insisted. "Something is going on here. Because she wouldn't have stood there and just taken something without either staying completely silent and watching us or making noise and trying to sneak out. She knows where everything is so she would have been done in a second. Why did she stay?"

Uh oh... Bakura was becoming too suspicious and it could ruin things!

Marik got up and tried to pull Bakura back. He didn't hear the ready signal yet! "Bakura leave her be! Now come back here."

"Ry, look what I found!"

"Oh boy! Private property!"

Oh there it was.

"She's..." He finally realized what I took. "She's showing my shipping lists to Ryou!" he cried. He broke away from Marik without any trouble. He raced out of the room after me.

He entered the living room and looked at the two of us sitting on the floor. He glared at me. "Give me the bloody list or I will hurt you."

"Hey!" Ryou shouted angrily. "You can't hurt one of _my_ fangirls!"

"She's my fangirl too, creampuff. I can do whatever I want to her. Now hand it over."

"What? All I was showing Ryou was the candy I got from that clow-"

"Give me the list!"

"Ryou has it!"

"You backstabber!"

The diversion worked. He turned his attention to Ryou. "Ryou give me the list!"

"We tricked you Baku! I have it! Tee hee hee!" I snuck around him and ran away.

He spun around and chased after me. "Give me the list you bloody tart! Why were you in my room!"

Marik followed Bakura the whole time, pretending to be concerned. "Bakura wait!"

I ran around the kitchen table and to the hallway, into the bathroom, and locked the door.

Bakura bumped into the door and banged on it with his fist. "Open up so I can destroy you!"

"Take your bloody papers!" I slipped the papers under the door. Enough time should have passed by now that she should have finished up in Bakura's room...

"Bakura, just take them and leave her alone," Marik said to him. "She's just a crazy fangirl who is hyper."

"Wait a minute!" Bakura stopped and stared between the door I hid behind, then at Marik who stood next to him, and then at Ryou who was looking on. "I get it now! All three of you are in on this! You're conspiring against me to drive me insane!"

"But Kura-kun!" I called from inside. "There's no conspireshipping here! Melvin isn't here anymore, remember?"

"Conspire!" Bakura shouted at the door. "I didn't say _shipping_! And I won't let you people do this to me!" He bent down and picked up his lists, then stomped away to his room.

But he froze in the doorway when he saw who was inside.

Another teenage fangirl.

She was hanging upside down from the ceiling fan.

"Who are you?" But he had a feeling he knew who...

"Kura, how nice of you to remember me. Let me give you a bit of a refresher…"

She jumped down and smiled evilly at him. "I'm Dynamite and Soup."

After a moment, Bakura finally reacted. "Oh bollocks my life is so screwed. Who said you could be here?!"

"Aquail."

"Hi," I said from behind him, having left the bathroom.

"Shut up." He swung his arm backwards and knocked me to the floor.

"Um... Ow."

"Shut up." He turned to Dynamite. "Why are you here? You know what? This is perfect! Ryou, give me the Ring." He held out his hand to Ryou.

Ryou put a protective hand on the Millenium Ring. "What? Why?"

"So I can send her to the Shadow Realm."

"No! Bad Yami! No Shadow Realm!"

"Why does everyone keep randomly quoting and referencing things that Yugi has said! Give me the Ring."

"No!"

"You know, Bakura, if you really wanted to do something to me..." Dynamite began with a masochistic laugh.

"Yes? You'll throw yourself at my feet and quiver in fear as I slowly end your mortal life in this world and begin your eternal life in the world of the Shadows?"

"Uh… Suuuure! But! In order to do that..." She turned around and drew a circle in the air. A portal appeared in the circle and trees and nature appeared through it. A small blue and white bird peeked in from the other side and peeped, "_Piplup_!"

"What?!"

"...you'll have to catch me first! Now watch in awe as I dive into the ostentatious and malevolent world of Pokémon!" She jumped through the portal and waved at Bakura. "Bye-bye Bakura-kuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnn!" She ran off into the distance.

Bakura facepalmed. "She needs someone to screw her head on the rest of the way," he commented.

"Aren't you going to go after her?" Marik asked.

Bakura turned around to look at him incredulously. "You bloody lost your mind? She's in the Pokémon world! I'm not going in there! It's terrible in there!"

"Point taken."

"Exactly." Marik walked behind him and took his hand. Bakura squeezed Marik's hand to calm himself down. Then he moved the hand from Marik's hand to Marik's waist and pulled him closer. "Marik, why do all of my fangirls like tormenting me?"

"Because you are a kitty and because they like seeing you mad."

"Hm. Seems legit." He and Marik stared at the portal until it closed.

Then Bakura remembered me on the floor and Ryou in the hallway. He turned around and looked at us. "You two... And you, Marik! All of you were in on this! You just wanted to torment me! I hate you all."

"Really, Bakura?" Marik asked sadly.

"I hate _you_, not your ass. Now all of you piss off." He finally walked back into his room, went over to his desk to tidy it up and put the shipping lists back, then he examined the rest of the room to see if anything was amiss. He noticed the drawer slightly open. "Oh what did you do?" He walked over to the drawer and opened it fully. After examining the mess inside, he turned to us and narrowed his eyes. "Really? Really?! _REALLY_, Marik?! You rearranged my bloody sock drawer!"

Marik nodded happily.

"I-but-why-just!" he stuttered. "Why?!"

"You didn't want me to do it to Yugi Muto so I did it to you! Now you shall feel the confusion and stress of having a messy sock drawer and understand why Yugi would have had a terrible experience if we had done it to him. Also I did it because it was part of the plan."

Bakura sighed and facepalmed. "You..." He waved us away and hid his face in his hand. "All of you just get out of my sight before I hurt something or someone."

He was using that serious and agitated tone of voice, so we all took the warning/hint seriously and left. I got off the floor and walked to the bathroom. Marik retreated inside his own room. Ryou went back to the living room to keep playing Skylanders.

Bakura went over to where Marik had left his book and picked it up. He sat down, opened to the page that was marked by the book jacket flap. Page eighty-seven*****. Right where he left off. He read a few lines of the page. He narrowed his eyes in suspicion and confusion but kept reading.

Then he read a name...

He slammed the book closed and glared at the doorway in which the three of us had gathered again to watch his reaction. Marik was leaning from the left side, Ryou leaning from the right, me sitting down in the middle in a kneeling position. A portal appeared behind me and Dynamite and Soup came back. The portal to the Pokémon world closed behind her as she stepped out.

Bakura threw the book on the floor, but let it slide out of the book jacket to his actual book. "WHICH ONE OF YOU GIT-FACED WANKERS SWITCHED MY BOOK FOR BLOODY BREAKING DAWN?!11?!1!?1?1!1?!1?"

Marik and Ryou pointed at me while I said, "Dynamite and Soup." Then I noticed the fingers. I put my hands on my hips. "Oh yeah sure thanks guys! Go right ahead and falsely accuse me! I was running and in the bathroom I couldn't have changed the book!"

"Yes Bakura, it was I! Bombs and Campbell's! And I love you. But it's funnyyyyyyy!"

Bakura didn't bother trying to go after me or her again and just facepalmed.

"I hate everyone. I don't care."

He threw himself on his bed, lied down, and put a pillow over his face. He tossed the book jacket to the side.

Marik took a step forward towards him, but stepped back when a dark purple anime aura appeared all around him. It practically screamed STRESS, TRAUMA, and ANNOYANCE.

"Guys, I think we went a little too far with the Twilight vampire/human sex scene," Ryou whispered to us.

"_You think_?" Bakura mumbled, voice muffled by the pillow.

"Hey Marik," I whispered. "Even though he totally hates you right now..." I just had to. I memed. "Still a better love story than Twilight."

"Ha!" Marik said, understanding the meme.

D & S gave the 'I see what you did there' face.

"Meh..." Bakura said.

Marik suddenly ran inside. "No wait!" I tried to warn.

He ran over to Bakura and suddenly lifted his shoulders until he was sitting upright. Bakura cried out in surprise but did nothing to stop him.

When Bakura was sitting up, Marik sat down behind him with his legs hanging off the bed and wrapped his arms around Bakura's waist. He pushed Bakura's white hair to the side and rested his chin on Bakura's left shoulder.

"Hey," he said.

"Go away I'm mad at you. And the rest of the world."

"ASDFGHJKL!1!"

"Shut up!" I whispered harshly at Dynamite. "No fangirling!"

"But thiefship-"

"SH!"

"I'm sorry, Kura!" Marik apologized sweetly. "We were just messing with you and having fun! It wasn't as bad as that punishment from the first story! Where you got drenched and sunburned? That was absolutely terrible! This is just annoying. Right?"

"Way to remind him of why he wants to throttle me and deplete my blood supply, Marik!" Dynamite mumbled under her breath.

"Hmph," Bakura replied. But I could tell that he was staring to realize that Marik had a point.

"We're sorry Kura! We are! But you're surrounded by people who love-and hate- you."

Ryou decided to join in. "That's right, Baku~!" he said. "It was just for laughs!" He also entered the room and sat next to Bakura and hugged him, this time on Bakura's left, and this time around his shoulders.

Bakura turned his eyes and looked at his two bothersome hikaris, Marik and Ryou. I could see a ghost of a smile behind his eyes, and I saw that smile hesitating to show on his lips.

Marik, Bakura, and Ryou... "OMG TORNSHIPPING?!" I shouted.

"Oh my Ra I swear if you blurt out another shipping name in this fanfic that doesn't start with the word thief I am going to reconsider my decision to not murder you!"

"Lol Baku-kun! U noes I haz be teh just kidding persona!"

"What?"

"Haha, Bakura. You know I'm just kidding." I walked into the room as well. "And wow you actually considered _not_ murdering me?! Really? Oh I'm so touched! And I love you too, Baku-kun!" I sat on the bed as well on Bakura's right and hugged him around his chest. "This was just a fun prank that I had to do! No hard feelings, right?"

"Meh..." But I saw a bit of that smile that was hidden in his eyes lose its shyness and move to his lips.

"And I absolutely _love_ you too, Fluffy! Like, more than Yuno loves Yukiteru! Except with twice the crazy!" Dynamite shouted. "I just had to take part, I'm really sorry! Can you find it in your heart to forgive one of your over-hyper fangirls?"

"Hehehe..." The smile disappeared and turned into a smirk. "I don't have one of those."

"Lolz, fine. Can you find it in yourself to forgive me and Aquailita?"

"Maaayybeee..." he said, drawing out the word for a few seconds. "But I suppose I have to. Because after all..." The smirk went away and the smile came back, a bit more of it having found its way from his eyes to his mouth. "...I love my fangirls."

"OMG YAY! AND I DIDN'T HAVE TO USE MY TOOLS TO PERSUADE YOU!" Dynamite ran in and ran over to the bed to join in on the hug.

But I unwrapped one of my arms and held it up to stop her and shouted, "NO STOP DON'T DO IT!"

She stopped in her tracks. "B-b-b-b-but why?" she asked sadly with puppy dog eyes. "You get to hug him..."

"Yeah..." I said as I moved my arm back. "But I'm not as hyper as you. I didn't glomp him. You'll probably glomp him, and end up glomping the rest of us as well. Besides, you called him Fluffy."

"Fine I'm sorry, _KITTYMcMEOWMEOW_."

"Don't call me that either."

"Fine! What dost thou request I hark him as?"

"Don't 'hark' at all. And you didn't even use that word properly!"

"Hmph!" Dynamite put her knife away. Wait, when did she even- nevermind.

Then something truly miraculous happened!

Bakura untangled his arms from the mess of a group hug me and the hikaris had him in and put one around me and one around Ryou.

BEST DAY _EVER_!

I resisted the urge to squeal as much as I could. But I let it out just a little. "eeeee!"

"Calm yourself," Bakura whispered.

"K."

Dynamite stood watching us, looking left out. For a minute she had a crazy look in her eyes, but then she calmed down and started pouting.

I felt bad for her...

"Ugh you teenagers are so stupid..." Bakura mumbled. "Come here," he said to Dynamite.

She gasped loudly and happily. "Seriously?!"

"Sure, why not. Just don't break anything."

"Holy crap yay!" She ran over to us and literally jumped into Bakura's lap.

I assumed that he put up some kind of glomp-reducing power or barrier thing, because he didn't flinch when she jumped on him.

"You know what, Marik and Soup, switch places please."

Dynamite and Soup and Marik both got up and walked around Bakura to the other side of him. As they moved, Bakura crisscrossed his legs. Marik sat inside his crossed legs and continued hugging him. Dynamite kneeled behind Bakura and hugged his neck and squealed.

I assumed that Bakura had his fangirl sound resistance on, because he didn't flinch or complain when her squeal came out right next to his ear.

Everyone sighed and smiled and stayed in the hug for about sixty seconds.

Then someone spoke up. Of course, it was Bakura.

"Aqua, stop it."

"Stop what?"

"This."

"What 'this'?"

"I know for a fact that you are using your author's power to make this hug last longer than it should and otherwise would."

"Frig!"

"Hey that's my line!"

"Oh um then... Oh bugger."

"Nope! My line!"

"Holy **** on a **** sandwich with **** on top and a side helping of ****! This is so not Super-Special-Awesome!"

"Aquailita!" everyone shouted at me.

"Fine! Gosh!"

I released my author's hold on everyone and let them voluntarily end the hug.

Everyone let go of Bakura and moved away.

Except for Marik.

"Marik, you can move now," Ryou said to him.

Marik leaned away from Bakura and they stared and smiled at each other. He held Bakura's gaze but still spoke to Ryou. "I don't want to."

Everyone understood. I walked around the bed and took Ryou's hand. Then I reached for Dynamite who was sitting at the foot of Bakura's bed, and took her hand as well.

I dragged Dynamite and Ryou out of the room.

Just before I walked out of eyeshot, I saw Bakura lean his head down towards Marik and kiss him for about the fiftieth time in this story. I looked away so as not to be tempted. But Dynamite and Soup was being led behind me so she saw a bit more. She dug her heels into the floor and made it difficult for me to drag her away. "Dynamite!" I whispered at her. "Let's go!"

"But, Aqua~!" she pleaded. She latched herself onto the door frame. "Thiefshipping~!"

"No!" I let go of Ryou and pulled her arm with both hands. "Come ON!"

"Just look!"

I looked just to humor her. I saw that instead of sitting in the center of where Bakura's legs were crossed, Marik was now kneeling there and leaning over him. They started to lean down until Bakura was on his back.

Me and Dynamite both sighed. "So beautiful..." we whispered in unison.

"Bloody fangirls..." Ryou walked around in front of Dynamite and I and pushed us away from the heavenly sexy thiefshippy scene. He pushed us to the living room.

Then he went back and reached inside the room for the doorknob. He took one last look at his Yami and fellow Hikari making out on Bakura's bed, shook his head and laughed quietly, then closed the door.

* * *

***We're not sure of the exact page. I forgot to check.**

**We had fun with this chapter! Thanks again, Dynamite ~(^7^)/**

**Unfortunately, she leaves next chapter.  
Even MORE unfortunately-ly, SOMEONE ELSE ALSO LEAVES NEXT CHAPTER! OH NOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEZZZZ! T~T**

**Sorry for any of you that wanted a cameo, for whatever reason.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	19. A Fangirl Farewell

**********OMG THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN! We had fun writing it!**

**********OMG SO SAAAAAAAD! Two people leave this chapter, Dynamite, and someone else that EVERYONE is going to miss (you had BETTER miss me!).**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, sexiness, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, fangirls, many lemons, Soup, Explosives, Pokémon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, Skylanders Giants, A Perfect Circle, Happy Tree Friends, Neflix, Cambells, Fifty Shades of Grey, H.P. Lovecraft's Tales of Horror, Twilight, Pokémon, any of their characters/trademarks, any tea-making skills, or the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Ryou walked in on me and Dynamite and Soup laughing about the prank, giggling about thiefshipping, and chatting about fanfiction at the kitchen table. Ryou shook his head again and walked over to us. "Hello there, you two."

"HI RYOU!" I shouted over-enthusiastically. "So glad to see you again! I haven't seen you in like five seconds!"

"I know, right?" Ryou said with a smile and an eye roll. "It's been so bloody long."

We heard a sound from behind Dynamite. "_Piplup_!"

"Oh right!" She turned to Piplup and hugged him. Then she turned back to us. The portal to the Pokémon world had opened again and she had to go hide in it again because she was probably playing with the Pokémons and still hiding from Bakura.

I laughed. Then I sighed and smiled weakly. "Well, Dynamite..." I said. "It's time for you to go!"

"Aw I know! But it was a great fanfic to be in! Best ever! Frigging love Kura and Marik and thiefshipping and the awesomeness that is this story!"

"Hey what about me?"

"Aw Ryou-kun~!" she cooed. "Ur cute too! Hug?"

He smiled at her. "Hug."

She stood up and he walked over to her and they hugged for a few seconds.

"Thanks for the fun! You're a crazy fantastic super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot author!" We hugged good-bye. "And my broken heart is all patched up now, so I'm gonna get back into fanfiction asap! Oh no, the fourth wall! Farewell!" She jumped through the portal with Piplup and the portal closed behind them.

"How does someone like such a bollocks show such as Pokémon and still be a Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged fan? Makes no bloody sense."

"Oh Ryou!" I hugged him and petteded him. "She's Dynamite and Soup. You're not _supposed_ to understand her!"

"Makes sense."

"Hey, Ryou... Can I ask you something?"

"Uh...I have a feeling I won't like what I'm hearing, but sure."

"What's with that bruise on your neck?"

Ryou moved his hand to the bruise which no one had mentioned for several chapters, to his relief, but I was mentioning again. "It... What do you think?" He blushed.

"I'll be honest with you, I assumed that either you had tripped and hurt yourself, some form of tendershipping was going on, or Bakura hurt your neck on purpose."

To my surprise, Ryou sighed in relief. His blush faded instantly. "Well at least you didn't assume what had _actually_ happened."

"What?"

"No one gave it to me..." he averted his gaze. "Specifically."

"Uhh..." My head tilted in confusion. "Wha?"

He looked back at me. "It's the same bruise that Marik gave Bakura...You know...from chapter 3? The one you covered up with a bandage earlier. When I went to check on Bakura, he told me to take it off, saying I didn't need it anymore. But apparently, no one noticed the bandage but everyone noticed the bruise, which hasn't healed yet..." He blushed again, like he would have done if Marik had pushed for details earlier but I stopped him from doing by mentioning Hetalia. He shuddered slightly.

"Wait...so why isn't Bakura's visible if it hasn't healed yet either?"

"He still has- or maybe _had_- his bandage on. It most likely also carried over to his body when you separated us. I hate how _his_ bruise carried over to _my_ body when we separated..."

I smiled faintly. "So _that's_ why you don't wanna talk about it," I concluded. "Because of where the bruise came from."

"Well obviously."

"Right...sorry. I would have thought that it would be healed by now..."

"Apparently not..."

"Well it's just like I said, it won't heal for convenience or continuity's sake. I think I mentioned that earlier. Think about it, in ICaBBE(oBW), it took a day or two for Ma-"

Ryou covered his ears with his hands. "Aqua~! I don't _want_ to think about it! Can you just let it go?"

I covered my mouth. "Gomen'nasai, Ryou-kun!"

He uncovered his ears and smiled at me. I uncovered my mouth and smiled back. "That's alright," he said. "I'll get over it in a little while. Anyway can we go back-"

"Actually, Ryou..." I interrupted, not exactly liking what I was about to say. "I um... Probably should be getting out of here."

"You! What?!" Ryou cried disappointedly.

"I'm sorry RyRy! I've been in this story for too long and I shouldn't have been here this long to begin with! I didn't even plan to stay this long! I only planned to defend you in chapter 4 and then get out of there. I didn't plan to stay for this long. I'm sorry, Ryou."

"No! You can't leave me with Marik and Florence! Especially not now! They're in the other room right now and probably..." he lowered his voice. "You know."

"I know. That _is_ kinda the point of this story..."

"I thought me coming out and ruining everything was the point."

"Well, that too. But anyway... You can just leave. Or! Aha, idea! I'll give you a soundproofed room here so you could retreat into it when they do it, and also just for when you're hiding from them."

"I usually retreated into my soul room. Now I can retreat into my regular room. Thanks!"

"No prob!" I spun around all dramatic and magically-like again. "There you go! The empty room they don't use is now yours. And it's soundproofed. But not the door or vents. And it has its own bathroom so you don't have to share with them."

"Thanks." He gave me a hug good-bye. "But I love all my fangirls, so you're not all that special."

I winked. "Haha! Sure! You're just saying that so the rest of them don't get jealous! I know you love me the most because I don't glomp or nosebleed."

He rolled his eyes. "Sure. Believe that if you want."

"Hahaha lolz! Thanks for the hug and for calming me down and stuff... Honestly, Florence may be the sexiest (in my eyes) of you three Bakuras, but you're definitely the awesomest because ur so cute and sweet! Anyway, bye!"

"Bye."

I waved goodbye as I finally faded out of the story. I became more and more transparent until I was gone.

* * *

Ryou stared at the spot for a few more seconds and sighed. He got up and walked to his new room. As he passed Bakura's door, he heard...um...sounds coming from it. He shouted at them, "Dynamite and Soup left about a minute ago and Aquailita left just a few seconds ago!"

_"Go away!"_

Ryou flinched when he heard the message through the mind link because it was unexpected. But that's just how things were and at least he wasn't _too_ connected to his yami.

But on any road...

It was time to let this story take its normal course again. (Whatever course that is...)

* * *

**Sooooo! Ya! Thanks again, Dynamite! ":3" indeed.**

**I wasn't even lying when I said I didn't really know how Ryou got that bruise. I hadn't actually thought of an explanation for it until I was randomly covering some plotholes for my other fanfics in my little spiral index card notebook about two weeks ago and suddenly realized how he got it!  
So I guessed wrong! And admit it, so did you.**

**I'm finally gone! Wah sad times! But I think Ryou can take care of himself and Marik seems to be on his side enough so that he will survive! So don't worry!**

**Up until the past two months, I didn't have anything planned for the chapters after this! Good thing I decided to update weekly instead of daily like ICaBBE(oBW) was. Otherwise I would NOT have had those chapters! So we actually have a story planned for the next few weeks!**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	20. Thiefshipping, Hetalia, and Batwings

**********OOOOPPPPSSS! I almost forgot to finish this chapter. Hopefully, the chapter will come out on Monday, latest. If earlier, great! If later, I give you permission to throw lemons at me (again).  
I'm a little nervous about releasing this chapter because I feel like I need to edit it more, however I can't do that because I have to also do my homework. Yet...I REALLY don't want you to throw lemons at me, literal or not, so I'll just give it to you. Here it goes. **

***********cringes* DON'T HATE ME!**

**********Now back to thiefshipping! This chapter contains NOTHING but thiefshipping. (or does it!)**

**********OMG THIS _MIGHT POSSIBLY_ BE THE LAST CHAPTER! I DON'T KNOW. READ THE ENDING AN FOR MORE INFO.**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, sexiness, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, fangirls, many lemons, Soup, Explosives, Pokémon, and many British things.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, Skylanders Giants, A Perfect Circle, Happy Tree Friends, Netflix, Campbell's, Fifty Shades of Grey, H.P. Lovecraft's Tales of Horror, Twilight, Pokémon, any of their characters/trademarks, any tea-making skills, or the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Bakura sat up. "Marik, I just heard the door close. He's in his room." He and Marik quieted. Marik sat up as well.

"Are you sure the room is soundproofed?"

"I'm sure. I heard through our mind link. Aquailita gave him a soundproofed room. The only thing not soundproofed are the doors and vents. But you know how terribly sound travels through the vents. And the door isn't much of a problem."

Marik smiled. "So now we _finally_ have..."

Bakura smiled as well. "The apartment to ourselves again," he finished.

Both of them- fully clothed and having been so the whole entire time- stood up and high-fived.

"You know," Marik said, "making noise to drive Ryou away is actually somewhat ironic. Because this time you actually _were_ faking it! Isn't that interesting?!"

Bakura blushed slightly. "I was faking it before, too, Marik..."

"SUUURRREEE you were!" Marik said with an eye roll. "Me and Aqua already had this argument. You totally were _not_ faking!"

Bakura blushed harder and turned away from him. "I'm not going to even bother arguing with you about that. Anyway, let's get out of here. What were we doing before...?"

At those words, Marik's fangirl mode activated. "WE WERE WATCHING HETALIA ON NEFLIX!"

Bakura laughed. "Of course you were."

"What were _you_ doing before all of this happened?"

"Does 'all of this' refer to the whole Aquailita situation or pranking me? In the case of the former, either you, or I was yelling at Ryou. In the case of the latter, I was reading the book that Soup switched ou-" Bakura's eyes widened in realization. He looked at the book. His eyes locked on it. "Marik... Where _is_ my other book?"

"I don't-"

Bakura put a finger to Marik's lips, eyes still on the book. "No. Wait. Don't." His gaze moved from the book to Marik's eyes. "I don't care right now. I'll try not to get pissed off at everyone again."

Marik nodded. "Right. So anyway... What do you wanna do now?"

"At the moment, only one thing."

Before Marik could ask what that thing was, Bakura's finger was replaced by his lips. Bakura intertwined his fingers with Marik's and closed his eyes. Marik's eyes slowly slid closed and he leaned into the kiss.

Bakur broke the kiss ten seconds later. Both of them opened their eyes and took a step away, but kept their hands intertwined with the other's.

"There," Bakura said softly. "For once in this fanfic, a legitimate kiss. Not sexual, not forceful, not deceitful, not unwanted (I hope). And most importantly, it's totally 100% genuine..."

"Thiefshipping!" Marik exclaimed. "Now come, Fluffy! Let us go and watch more Hetalia."

Bakura frowned and took a step away. "On second thought, I'd rather just go look for my b-"

"No! Hetalia. Please?"

Marik's eyes sparkled and he smiled pleadingly and adorably at Bakura, trying to imitate Ryou's adorable face that usually got the other hikari what he wanted.

Surprisingly, it worked with Bakura. He sighed and rolled his eyes, but smiled. "Fine. Let's go watch your dumb and mature-rated anime about gay personifications of countries."

"Watch what you say, Fluffy." He pointed to the Hetalia shirt that he was still wearing. "Don't fuck with my fandoms, I won't fuck with yours. 'Bloody Tree Friends'."

"Mmmm. Bloody, indeed." Bakura's eyes temporarily gained an evil look and he licked his lips.

"Ugh! Bakura stop being weird! Now let's go..."

Marik took Bakura's hand and dragged him to the living room.

Hetalia was still on but paused.

"It's almost done," Marik told Bakura. He moved over to the couch, sat down right next to the arm, and beckoned Bakura with his hand to sit next to him.

"Okay?" Bakura said as he took a seat.

"In like two seconds the ending song will start. I'll switch to a different episode. And by the way this is the dub."

"Tell me who dubs it right now," Bakura demanded a bit warily.

"Calm the frig down," Marik said as he left the episode and started searching for a different one. "4Kids would _never_ dub this. Hello? The rating? And it's dubbed by FUNimation. They're hilarious! You should see the bloopers."

"I don't care. I don't even care about this show. I'm only watching because you told me to."

"If you don't care about the show, then there's no way you ship EngGypt, so shut up and just watch."

"Fine," Bakura said with a sigh. Marik had found the episode and it was starting up.

As the pre-episode intro whatevers played, Bakura randomly glanced at Marik. He looked back at the TV screen, but did a double-take because he had noticed that the Egyptian was grinning and had a slightly devious look in his eye. "Marik... What episode is this?"

Marik's grin grew. "Not Episode 25, if that's what you're worried about."

Bakura sighed in relief as quietly as he possibly could. "Good."

But Marik's grin widened even more. "It's Episode 23."

Bakura looked at Marik again, his face confused. "What happens in Episode 23?" he asked.

Marik just shook his head and hugged one of the couch pillows like a hyper fangirl who needed to squeeze something or else she would explode into a fangirl-hyperness fit.

Now Bakura was worried. _What happens in Episode 23?_*****

* * *

_~Several minutes later~_

Bakura was facepalming. And he was blushing so hard, Marik actually asked him why he had Spain's tomatoes glued to his face.

When Marik realized that Bakura was blushing and didn't have fruit (yes it's a fruit) on his face, he instantly figured out why.

(At some point during the episode, and for some reason, they had switched seats. So now Bakura was in between Marik and the arm of the couch.)

He responded to this by pulling Bakura towards him and cradling the Brit's head in his arms. "Oh there, there, Bakura. Don't be like that."

"Marik, I hate you," Bakura mumbled irritatedly.

"I love you too, Kura," Marik automatically replied.

After a few moments, Marik started rubbing his face against Bakura's soft fluffy hair. Bakura actually felt comfortable in this position. Hid blush faded. His eyes slowly slid closed. He started purring, but kept his volume to a minimum in the hopes that Marik wouldn't notice.

However, Marik _did_ notice, and he smiled. Then, without warning, he grabbed the tip of one of Bakura's bunny ear things with his teeth and tugged lightly.

Bakura's eyes shot open, his blush instantly returned (although it wasn't as intense as it was before) and he shot up. However, in the process, since Marik's teeth still held onto his hair, he ended up tugging on it more. His blush reddened further and he moaned softly. At the same time, he let out a pained cat-like mewl. Marik instantly let go and grinned.

His face still flushed, Bakura recovered and glared at Marik. "Don't do that," he said quietly.

Marik snickered behind his hand. "Lolz Bakura ur so cute when that happens! El Oh frigging El"

"When what happens? When I make cat noises or when you...do that?"

"Tee hee. Both. Tee hee."

Bakura's eyes stopped being narrowed and he smirked.

He pushed Marik off of him, making him fall back on the couch, and jumped on top of him. He started attacking Marik's mouth with his own. Marik would have been totally okay with that, but he had been caught off guard so his immediate reaction was to struggle and try to push Bakura off. After a few more seconds of this, Marik realized what was happening and was about to stop struggling and let it happen. But before he could stop, Bakura broke away suddenly.

"You wanna mess with my bat wings again, that's what you're going to get. So bugger off and just keep watching your informational metaphorical stereotypical and slightly sexual mature-rated anime."

Bakura started to sit back up again. But Marik pulled him back down.

"No," he said. "You started it. Now, you're gonna get what you asked for!" Before Bakura could even think of a response or reply to that, Marik pressed their faces together and kissed Bakura passionately and forcefully. Bakura was instantly kissed back with just as much- if not more- passion and force.

This continued for a few more seconds before Marik let go of him. In the meantime, the episode ended and the ending song finished playing. A moment later, Bakura pushed himself off of Marik and sat up- for real, this time. "You know, Marik," he said with raised eyebrows and a suggestive and seductive look in his eyes, "I'm really glad that Ryou's room is soundproofed."

Marik grinned, already knowing the answer to the question he was about to ask. "Why is that?"

"Because he won't be able to hear us when we're having a particularly intimate moment. Wanna go in my room and finish what we started in chapters 3, 9 and 10, 14, 18, and 20******?"

Marik's eyes lit up. "Ah hell to the frigging to the yeah! Why your room, though?"

"Because the last two semi/on-screen/implied lemons happened in your room."

"My bed is bigger," Marik countered.

"For what I have planned, we won't necessarily need a bigger bed." Without another word, Bakura picked Marik up, hung him over his shoulder, and carried Marik to his room, then closed the door.

**As for whatever happened after that, I have no idea. And I don't WANT to have an idea. (I don't like thiefshipping lemons, remember?)**

* * *

**BONUSy SCENE!  
PREVIEW OF NEXT CHAPTER!**

* * *

_Suddenly, Bakura's eyes widened. Marik noticed and paused the video. "What's wrong?" He asked._

_Bakura's eyes returned to normal and he looked at Marik. "Uh... Ryou just told me something. I have to go over there and deal with him."_

_"What did he say?"_

_"It's a Bakura thing. You don't want or need to know. I'll be back in several minutes." He removed Marik's arm from around his shoulder and stood up._

_Marik stood up as well. "Uh... Okay. I have to get something from my room anyway. Knock on my door when you finish with him."_

_Bakura stopped focusing on him and just stared straight ahead. But he was still vaguely listening, so he nodded slowly._

_He walked into the hallway and headed for Ryou's room._

_Marik also walked into the hallway, but headed into his own room. The last things he heard were Bakura knocking on the door, the door opening, and then it slamming shut. Marik wondered what was about to happen, and wondered if he should be concerned, then went into his room and closed the door._

* * *

***Go watch it yourself. (IDR what season it was, though. srry.) You'll see. The Hetalia fans know. But here's a hint: Italy calls Germany for help. Again. Tee hee hee! (I recommend that you look it up on Google or other, rather than YouTube, unless you are 18 or older on YouTube because it's blocked if you're younger than 18 (on YouTube).)  
**Not recommended that you try to look each chapter up. It'll waste too much time. 3 is the really short lemon, 9 is when Marik tugs on Bakura's bunny ears and 10 is right after, 14 is when Bakura kisses Marik but then stops abruptly and gives me fangirlitis, 18 is when they were making out after Dynamite, Ryou, and I left after the prank, and 20 is this chapter.**

**Uh oh... What's going to happen? What is up with Ryou! I don't know!**

**Okay. Here's the thing. I have next chapter only planned out a little bit. I have everything planned out except for the beginning of it. I was just randomly thinking that maybe I should...DONT HATE ME FOR THIS!... instead of doing a next chapter, ending the story here with a cliffhanger and continuing in a new story. It's just like how ICaBBE(oBW) ended, with them about to totally make out or something after everything calmed down. I don't really know why I would do that because it just wouldn't flow quite right, I would have to think of a new title and summary, and it would all just be a big mess and stuff. Yet, the next few chapters have a different plot altogether, centered around Ryou rather than Marik and Bakura. And a certain person I don't want to be there will end up being there. I'm not telling you who, and there are several options so you might not guess the right person. But anyway... Ya the plot is centered around (about 75% of it) Ryou, but is a direct continuation of this story. Crazy stuff will happen in it!  
But I don't know if I should even do it or not...what do you think?  
Maybe the title will be... something with the word "British" and "Ears" or "Wings". Maybe "British Batwingless Hair"? No. that's lame. Help me think of a good title, maybe. If you don't mind spoilers, I'll tell you some things to help me think of a title.**

**If I decide to make this the last chapter, I will put in an epilogue next week. If not, and if I figure something out within a week, I'll continue as normal. But I really don't want to make this too long, and I was thinking about making a third one anyway. It was only a matter of WHEN I would end Flattening Down the Bunny Ears.**

**Well...we'll figure it out together.**

**See you next chapter! (cuz either way, there WILL be a next chapter)**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	21. The Epilogue: Everything Explained

This is the last chapter.

**********Yes. You read that right. This is the last chapter of Flattening Down The Bunny Ears. But don't worry! I WILL continue this story, just not in this fanfic. Yes, this shall become a TRILOGY! **

**********Uh anyway sorry about the late update. I didn't have this pre-written, that's why. And had my regents today (and I think I did good!), plus two more next week. I had BARELY any time to work on this. But I managed to do it! You're very welcome!**

**********This is an epilogue. This was written totally on the spot and wasn't planned in any way whatsoever (ok maybe a little teeny tiny bit but...uh...because shut up).  
************BTW the bonusy scene from last chapter isn't in this chapter, it's in the next story. This is only an epilogue and filler. Mostly. **

**********For an epilogue, this might be a bit long...**

**********ENJOY THIS LAST CHAPTER!**

_I do not own anything that has been mentioned or used in this fanfic, including: Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, Skylanders Giants, A Perfect Circle, Happy Tree Friends, Netflix, Campbell's, Fifty Shades of Grey, H.P. Lovecraft's Tales of Horror, Twilight, Pokémon, or any of their characters/trademarks. I also do not own the British language._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

_~Some amount of time later~_

Ryou sat on one side of the kitchen table, the side away from the living room.

Marik and Bakura sat side-by-side on the other side of the table.

Everyone was silent.

The thieves just sat there and stared cold, hard, disapprovingly, and evilly at Ryou, making the hikari more and more uncomfortable by the second. Marik had his elbows on the table and was leaning forward, his hands lightly clasped together and his mouth hidden behind them. To his left, Bakura sat up straight in his seat with his arms folded and his head tilted to the side ever so slightly, a deep frown on his face the entire time.

Ryou sat there and stared back, frowning. He kept shifting uncomfortably and scratching the back of his neck and his arms and other various places people typically scratch when they're nervous. His face clearly showed his discomfort. His feet had become restless, and his right foot was currently tapping the leg of his chair gently and soundlessly. He couldn't seem to force himself to look away from them. He kept looking back and forth between the two of them, waiting for something to happen and for them to stop staring at him like that.

This had been going on for about five minutes.

About sixty seconds later, Ryou finally cracked under the pressure of their cold, hard stares. He shot out of his chair, knocking it over, slammed his palms on the table, and shouted, "WHY THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU TWO EVIL WANKERS STARING AT ME LIKE THAT PLEASE STOP IT YOU'RE SCARING ME!" When he was done, he was breathing hard. Not only because of the outburst, but because of how tense he had been the entire six minutes. He looked back and forth between the two of them. He looked like he was about to cry.

Five seconds later, Bakura's face finally changed. His eyes showed amusement and he smirked. He tilted his head more and the intensity of his gaze lessened. "Well that was fun," he said contently.

Marik also changed. He lowered his arms and sat up straight. His eyes also looked amused and he grinned. "That was more fun than I expected. But can we start now?"

"Sure. Whatever."

Ryou still looked back and forth between them, but now in confusion. "What? What just happened there? Do either of you plan on explaining what just happened to me?"

"I wanted to talk to you about something," Marik said. "Bakura wouldn't agree to it unless I let him do that to you first and agreed to be in on it. And that was actually fun, more than I expected."

Ryou frowned deeply, pouting a little.

Marik looked at Bakura. "We should try that with Yugi Muto sometime."

"Yes. I agree."

"Can we start now, though?"

"I already said yes."

"Okay. Bakura, you sit here. Ryou sit where Bakura is sitting."

Ryou was still pouting and looking sad and confused and helpless, so he just nodded half-mindedly and complied. First, he picked up the chair and righted it, then he moved over to the other side of the table. Bakura moved over and let Ryou sit where he had been sitting.

Ryou looked at him, still looking sad and pouty.

"Nice try. I'm not going to apologize or try to make you feel better. And since we have separate bodies, you're going to have to get used to that kind of thing happening more often, got it?"

Ryou's jaw dropped and he looked at Bakura incredulously. "Are you bloody kidding me?! I've been with you for however many years and I'm still not used to my weekly torture sessions! How do you expect me to get used to you two doing that kind of stuff to me more often!?"

After exchanging glances with Marik, Bakura simply replied, "I don't."

"Marik! I thought you were (mostly) on my side!"

"Actually, I may be on your side because we're both hikaris, but I'm mostly on Bakura's side because he's sexy and so am I and we're both evil. And gay. And you aren't. So ha."

Ryou suddenly looked like he was crying. "Oh Marik why are you so mean to me wah!"

"Marik! Why the bloody hell do you keep making my hikari cry! Stop doing that! That's my job!"

Ryou stopped pretending to cry and smiled at Bakura. "Ha. You defended me."

"Never mind. I take it back."

Ryou pouted.

"So anyway, you two," Marik said, "let's get started with the interrogation."

Ryou stopped pouting and Bakura stopped looking pissed off. They turned to Marik and both said "What?" at the same time.

"So tell me some stuff, you two," Marik continued.

The two Brits exchanged wary and secretive glances. "What?" they asked again.

"I wanna know some stuff about you two. Ryou, I rarely see you. Bakura, you never talk about him. I know that there will be some trouble around here between the two of you, so I want to know in advance what I should expect."

Both Bakuras were silent for a few seconds.

"Well..." Bakura began. "You already know about the control time schedule. I was exaggerating back in chapter 1. On breaks from school, I used to let him out every week for 1-4 hours, depending on what was going on that particular day. He's not as disconnected from the world as he says he is. I'm not _that_ cruel."

"Yes you are..." Ryou murmured.

Bakura glared at him. "You tell him, then!" He folded his arms and sat back.

Ryou sighed. "Fine. I will." He looked at Marik. "I was also exaggerating, in chapter 7. I didn't know about the Skylanders, but I'm not really disconnected from the world. I just don't get to live in it much..." He turned to Bakura as he said this.

"Wait a minute!" Bakura said, turning to Marik. "Doesn't that mean that _you_ were exaggerating about not having seen him in months?"

Marik's face lit up in realization. "Holy frig you're right! Well actually no you aren't. I really _haven't_ seen him in months. The last time I saw him was..."

"Before the start of Italian Curls and British Bunny Ears (or Bat Wings)?" Ryou asked.

**"And so we get to the point of this epilogue!"**

"OMG WHO THE FRIG SAID THAT!" Marik suddenly shouted. He looked around at the walls and ceiling.

Bakura groaned and facepalmed. "Do you not hear the bolded text? Aqua is ANing in the middle of the chapter to us."

"I say, that is a little creepy..." Ryou commented.

"Shut up," Bakura said to Ryou. "It's better than seeing her, which is what I don't want to do, so shut up."

**"Be nice, Bakura! And I'm just trying to say something to the readers. This epilogue is only epilogue. It's a little chapter to fill in a few plot holes and set a few things straight, as well as to give you some information that I should have given you since the beginning. This is all just information."**

"Wait so you also planned the little torture thing at the beginning?!" Ryou cried sadly as he looked around wildly, not sure where to look.

**"I'm sorry, Ryou-kun. But if you haven't figured it out by now..."**

"What?"

**"As much as it hurts us to do so, torturing you and putting you through any form of pain- physical or emotional or mental- is too much fun. We feel guilty afterwards, but it's just too satisfying. I'm sorry."**

"Oh that's right. Somehow I had forgotten about that this entire time."

**"Yea...So anyway. Back to talking about things. I'll just be going back to my keyboard now."**

"Good," Bakura said in annoyance, the obvious annoyance in his voice being terribly obvious. "Go away."

**"Shut up, Florence." *goes back to Author's chair***

"Don't call m-"

"Calm down, Florence," Marik said. Bakura glared at him, giving him a look that said 'I'll deal with you later and you know it'. "So what were we talking about before?"

"The last time I saw you before this fanfic," Ryou reminded him. "It was before the previous story started. Before you found out about Bakura's..." Ryou held back a laugh and side-glanced at Bakura.

Bakura glared at him for a moment, then looked back at Marik.

Ryou tried again. "Before you found out about his b-" Ryou snickered, and his hand shot to his mouth so he could hold it back. But he couldn't take it anymore and burst out laughing.

"Before I found out about his bunny ears?" Marik finished.

"Bat wings," Bakura corrected.

Ryou, unable to stop laughing, only nodded.

"Ryou," Bakura said coldly.

Ryou instantly stopped laughing and slowly turned to Bakura with a serious expression on his face.

Bakura smirked evilly at him. "Two hours."

Ryou's face turned horrified. "What! No! You said you wouldn't!"

"Two hours," Bakura repeated.

"No I'm sorry not two hours just stop please you said you wouldn't! I'm sorry!" He clasped his hands and his face and his face was adorably apologetic and his eyes were adorably pleading.

Bakura looked away and closed his eyes. "Hm..." He looked like he was considering it. "Maybe."

Ryou let the subject drop. "I'll accept that 'maybe' for now."

"What the hell was that?!" Marik asked. "What does 'two hours' mean?"

The Bakuras exchanged glances again before replying, "None of your business."

"Well! Excuse me! Can we please just get back to what we were talking about?"

"What _were_ we talking about?" Bakura asked.

"I have no idea..." Ryou said.

"Something about Bakura's hair..." Marik mumbled. "Oh yeah I've been meaning to ask you about something, Bakura. How do you comb or brush your hair in the morning? Well... I assume you do. I don't know why I assume that, since you always have such a mess on your head."

Bakura narrowed his eyes in boredom. "Are you serious, Marik? What kind of question is that? I do my hair like any normal person would."

"Define 'normal'," Ryou said quietly.

Bakura didn't even bother wasting another glare on him. Marik, however, suddenly had another question. "When did _you_ find out, Ryou?" Marik asked him.

Ryou blushed. "I'd rather not answer that question."

"Well you're going to have to answer _some_ questions. At least off-screen (page?)."

"Try me, Ishtar."

"Oooh look at you," Bakura said sarcastically, "Actually standing up to one of the evil guys for once."

"Hey!" Ryou shouted defensively. "I stand up to you all the time and_ you're_ evil!"

Bakura turned to Marik, but still addressed Ryou. "Yeah, and where has that gotten you with me?"

"Uh... nowhere?"

"Bingo."

"So..." Marik continued. "...we need to sort some stuff out cuz the way the three of us live together is just too complicated."

"For you, maybe," Bakura said.

"Well that's because you never explained anything to me! I just went along with whatever you were doing. I rarely ask about Ryou because I know you won't tell me anything!"

"Listen," Bakura suddenly said. He stood up. "I want to end this epilogue as soon as possible so I don't have to be on-page anymore. I haven't satisfied my urge to hurt someone today, and the satisfaction of bombarding Aquailita with fruit has worn off, so I'm in the mood to make someone bleed. Whoever interrupts me is getting cut. Got that?" Ryou and Marik nodded. "Good. Marik, switch seats with me."

Marik obediently moved to the other side of the table and sat in Bakura's seat. Bakura moved as well, but remained standing.

"So here's how it all is. During the school year, I let Ryou out on school days so he can do whatever academic things he needs to do. Weekends are always mine, as are holidays. You do whatever you do during school days when he's gone. The three month school break is when our weekly schedule is in effect. He gets one day a week of control time. He has chosen to spend every one of those days so far in the past three months not in the apartment, and I suspect at his old residence. Aquailita changed that, so now he lives here with us. As for the timeline of this series, which I know _someone_ is going to ask about next, I'm going to explain it all now so that, again, I can end this epilogue as soon as possible. Again, no interruptions or else I will hurt you."

The two hikaris at the other end of the table nodded again.

"Good. So as you know, Ryou, about a year ago Marik and I erm...'bought' this apartment and moved in together so we could be evil partners in crime more conveniently. After a whole year, that's when Italian Curls and British Bunny Ears (or Bat Wings) happened. A week earlier, school had ended. Three months later, which is yesterday, this thing started. And a few hours ago, it finally ended with... Something. And here we are in the epilogue which I honestly think we don't even need."

The two hikaris sensed that Bakura was done and it was safe to interrupt without betting hurt, so Marik freely did so. "Way to go, Fluffy. You just ruined all the fun of the last chapter of this story! Do you really want to end off on a-"

"I really don't care," Bakura interrupted.

"So you two didn't really buy this place, did you?" Ryou asked.

"Well," Bakura said, "the apartment didn't cost all that much because it is next door to Slenderman's. We pretty much stole the money to buy it."

"How did I know you were going to say that?"

"Because shut up," Marik said.

"Anyway..." Ryou started to say.

Marik continued, keeping Ryou from continuing. "We need to set some rules around here."

"I agree," Ryou said. "Can I please start?"

"Uh...fine whatever. Marik, switch with me again? I want to be near Ryou in case he gets a little too...out of hand."

Ryou gulped. Marik nodded and switched seats with Bakura.

"Okay, host-guy Limey Man," Marik said. "Start."

"First of all," Ryou began, "Bakura, you have to start letting me live my life. This shouldn't really be an issue since I have my own body now, but still. You have to let me hang out with whoever I want. If you're going to try to kill Yugi or the Pharaoh, do it when I'm not around. Don't expect me to be an accomplice in any of your evil schemes. And um...Bakura you have to let me have the Millenium Ring at least half of the time. Also don't hog all of the tea to yourself."

"Who said I even drank tea?"

Ryou smiled faintly. "You're British on behalf of me. You can't help it. Don't act like I don't know."

"I know, as well," Marik added.

"Okay. I'm British because of Ryou. So what? Not my fault. Now I'd like to also like to set a few rules. Ryou, you still have to obey me and honor all agreements and rules we have set, excluding the ones directly dependent on the fact that we shared a body. Now, because I feel the need to be _fair_ for once to both of the hikaris I have to deal with, I'll also settle the issue of the living room TV. Marik, since you have both a laptop and a computer, if you want to watch Hetalia on Netflix but Ryou wants to play Skylanders, Ryou gets to play Skylanders. You have two other places to watch Hetalia. Similarly, I get to have the laptop if I want to watch my DVD. So Ryou gets the Wii for Skylanders, I get the laptop for HTF, and Marik gets his computer for Hetalia. That fair enough?" Surprised that Bakura actually made a _COMPROMISE_ for once, both hikaris nodded. "Good. Now speaking of fandoms, no fandom wars. No forcing fandoms on anyone else. If either of you try to get me into your fandom, that fandom will be banned from this apartment, understand? Hetalia pisses me off enough, and I don't need the same aggravation from Skylanders. Don't ask me to steal some merchandise from your fandoms, either. I'm not wasting my time on that stuff."

"Fine, but are _Shadow_ Fandom Wars allowed?" Marik asked hopefully.

Bakura narrowed his eyes at Marik. "_Especially_ not Shadow Fandom War_rrrr_... Well... Actually that doesn't sound like a bad idea." He put a finger on his chin thoughtfully. "Yeah. It doesn't. It would be amusing to watch you two play a Shadow Game with each other. Fine. You can do it sometime in the next story."

"Great!" Marik exclaimed. "Now it's time for me to put my twenty quid in."

The Brits both gave him very odd looks when he said that, as if he was crazy. "Why the hell did you say it like that?" Ryou asked.

"Cuz you're British and probably don't want my currency...?"

"We don't," Bakura responded, "But either what you said was highly stereotypical, highly moronic, or highly stupid."

"Okay, fine!" Marik said. "I'll be putting my TWO CENTS in. Happy now?"

"We are."

"Quite happy, indeed, chap."

"Er...right. So first, just like Ishizu isn't allowed to bother me when I'm being evil, Bakura you aren't allowed to bother me when I'm being 'good'."

"Oh right," Bakura said. "I had almost forgotten that after Battle City you turned slightly 'good'." He narrowed his eyes and scowled. "Worthless siblings."

Bakura suddenly felt a foot stomp on his, painfully. He muffled a cry of pain behind his lips and his hand automatically shot to the source of the pain. He had to bend down, however, to reach his foot. But he forgot that he was sitting at the table and he hit his head against it on the way down. He couldn't hold back a small pained hiss. He picked up his head and rubbed he spot that had hit the table, then glared at Ryou. "WHAT THE BUGGERING HELL WAS THAT FOR?!" he shouted.

Ryou was glaring back at him. "I take offense to that comment."

"Well I take offense to your taking offense to that comment."

"Well I take offense to you taking offense to my offense to your comment."

They started arguing and rambling incoherently with each other, using many British words and phrases, using weird hand gestures and pointing at each other a lot and waving their hands around, and saying something about siblings and taking offense to things and being good, as far as Marik could tell.

After a minute or two of this, Marik butt in and shouted, "Will you two shut the frig up and let me finish?!"

The two Brits stopped their really weird British rambling argument and looked at him. They quieted and nodded, giving each other one last death glare before paying attention to Marik.

"That was...odd," Marik murmured before continuing. "So ya Bakura don't bother me when I'm in one of my 'good' moods. You might not see me anyway because I'll be with Odion and Ishizu at the museum. Ryou, you're free to spend time with me because you're one of the good guys, but not if Yugi is involved."

"I completely understand that you don't want any friendly relations to Yugi," Ryou said to both of them. "You don't have to keep telling me. I barely like Yugi, anyways."

"I would hope so," Bakura said.

"It's true! I don't hang out with them much! I try to, but they always reject me!"

"Well you'll be happy to know that I'll pay _lots_ of attention to you." With that, he moved his face closer to Ryou's, tauntingly with a threateningly scary look in his eyes.

"Uh... That isn't what I mean, Spirit."

Bakura knew that he had frightened Ryou because Ryou usually only ever called him 'Spirit' when he was scared by him. He smirked and moved his face away. "I know. I just like freaking you out."

"Mmmmmmm..." Ryou groaned.

"Ryou, I seem to recall you making a comment in the very last AN of Italian Curls and British Bunny Ears. Something about Aquailita already having the first chapter of this fanfic written out?"

Ryou nodded, remembering.

"How did you know?"

Ryou shrugged. "I have no idea. I just did."

"If you knew that, then would you possibly know when the first chapter of the sequel will come out? Or at least when it happens chronologically in relation to this epilogue?"

Ryou stared off into the distance for a moment. "Uh... I think it begins a week from now. But when the chapter will come out, I have no idea."

"Hm... So we have a week to do whatever the hell we want," Marik concluded.

"Right. I guess so," Bakura commented. "Is this epilogue almost over?"

"I think it is, actually," Marik said. "But it feels sort of weird ending it off in the middle of this conversation."

"Well, how about we have the authoress end it off for us?" Ryou suggested. "We can end it in the ANs instead of just randomly ending it in the middle of our conversation."

"That is a terrible idea," Bakura said.

"That is an _awesome_ idea!" Marik cried.

Ryou and Marik, happily ignoring Bakura's comment like the happy-go-lucky adorable hikaris they were, got up from their seats and skipped out the front door and off to the very end of the chapter.

Bakura couldn't really do anything about that, so he simply got up and chased after them. Bakura quickly caught up to them.

The three of them, Marik Ishtar, Yami Bakura, and Ryou Bakura, all walked together to the very last Ending Author's Note of Flattening Down the Bunny Ears.

* * *

**There is a YGXTAS reference in here. Can you find it?**

**Thanks for everyone who stayed with and loved this story! Thanks to all of the reviewers and followers and stuff! Love all of you!  
Special thanks to Dynamite and Soup, randomgirl40, and DigimonIsBetterThanPokemon151. Thanks (again) to Rueky Ishtar.**

**Next story will be called...NOPE I WONT SPOIL IT FOR YOU TEE HEE HEE!**

**When the next story comes out, the words "sequel exists" will appear in this story's description. That's how you'll know. Or you can just follow me, the author, when you leave a review! Or even if you don't leave a review! So it's time to end this story with the help of out characters: Yami Bakura, Marik Ishtar, and Ryou Bakura!**

***cheers and shouts***

***they each walk in as I say their names***

**Ryou: Hello there, everyone. I hope you had so much fun in this fanfic. *Glances at Marik and Bakura, in turn* I know I didn't. *shivers***

**Marik: Shut up, Limey Man. No one cares about what you want.**

**Ryou: ... My mummy does.**

**Bakura: ugh. These two... Anyway, hope you had fun watching me torture the authoress' self-insert...**

**Me: HEY!**

**Bakura: Heh heh. And hope you had fun watching all the random crap we did. Remember, Slenderman and Melvin will NOT be in the next fanfic. Ryou has no idea when it will come out, but it will come sometime in the not-very-distant future.**

**Marik: *waving wildly* See you time!**

**Ryou: *very adorably* BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


End file.
